View Full Version : O/T Friday evenin Joke time (adult theme)...

03-01-2014, 05:27 PM
Welcome one and all to the first joke post of 2014...feel free to join in..;-)

'What are you doing?' I asked the chemist...

'Arranging all these suppositories on the shelves' he replied...'I'm sorting them alphabetically then subdividing them by type, dosage, pack number and sell by date'...

I thought 'That's a bit anal'

03-01-2014, 05:37 PM
Just spent a day on an 'Introduction to plumbing' course...absolute rip off...

6 hours I sat there and still can't speak a f.ucking word of Polish' >:(

03-01-2014, 05:40 PM
'S.hag me hard up the a.rse' my mates Wife said today...

'I've begged you for anal for years! why now? ' he said...

'I've had a rectal prolapse and I need you to f.uck it back into place'...:O

03-01-2014, 05:46 PM
What's the difference between a blow job and a cream cake?

A woman will always lick her lips at the prospect of a cream cake...

03-01-2014, 05:48 PM
My Wife has the ability to light up a room...

Just by moving away from the window...

03-01-2014, 05:51 PM
Somebody stole 48 cans of Red Bull from the local shop yesterday.

How can he sleep at night?

I've heard of a car mechanic that uses a piece of an exhaust to change people's religion.

It's a catholic converter.

03-01-2014, 05:55 PM
Bloke comes back from the Amazon jungle and greets his wife by putting a box on the kitchen table, she opens the box and says 'what on earth is that?'. 'That my dear is an Amazonian c0ck sucking frog' he replies. 'what do you expect me to do with that!' she yells. He looked deep into her eyes and says 'teach it to cook then **** off' XD

03-01-2014, 07:37 PM
A doctor had his students in an anatomy class where they were dissecting a body. The doctor said rule 1; dont be repulsed by anything in the human body...So he stuck his finger up the corpse's a.rse and pulled his finger out & sucked it!
He told the students to do the same. After hesitating, they stuck their finger up and sucked it! The doctor then said 'I used my middle finger & sucked my thumb...rule 2 'pay attention!'

03-01-2014, 07:49 PM
Did you here about the dyslexic Swedish lesbian who was seen licking her partner's Volvo... :O

03-01-2014, 08:06 PM
Bought the wife a pair of brand new slippers for xmas and a new vibrator... so if she doesn't like the slippers she can go f**k herself!!!!!!! B)

03-01-2014, 09:15 PM
Rotherham United Smash Transfer Record Fee!!!!

03-01-2014, 09:32 PM
What does a man with a 12 inch c**k have for breakfast

... Well I had bacon and egg on toast this morning

03-01-2014, 09:35 PM
Best piece of advise my grandad ever gave me . Marry a girl with small hands he said That way your c**k will look bigger