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g69
10-01-2014, 08:18 PM
It was Christmas Eve,a couple doing last minute shopping when her husband disappeared. She phoned him on his mobile, "Where are you ?" darling remember the jewellery shop we went in 5 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace, that we could not afford, and I said one day I would get it for you ?" Her eyes filled with tears, "yes I remember" she said "Well I am in the pub next door to that."
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SMALLPAUL
10-01-2014, 08:36 PM
A husband comes home from work with a big bunch of flowers for his wife

"They are beautiful" she remarks "i suppose you'll want me to open my legs now for you"

"why?" quipped the husband "do you not have a vase"


Bada boom tish!

g69
10-01-2014, 08:49 PM
My girlfriend thinks I am a stalker,
Well she's not actually my girlfriend yet

g69
10-01-2014, 08:51 PM
I was in the pub with the Mrs last night and I said" I love you"
She said is that you or the beer talking? I replied it's me---- talking to the beer !
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g69
10-01-2014, 08:59 PM
I was in the pub last night when my wife txt me: Hi darling,I've just opened my letter from the hospital about my lump. Do you want to know the results? XXX
I texted back" No please don't tell me. I'll watch Match of the Day when I get in
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JUST SO HAPPY WITH OUR PROGRESS

MrClaretandBlue
11-01-2014, 04:09 AM
The police knocked on my door last night and the officer said, "Sir, I have some bad news, it looks like your wife has been hit by a bus."

I said, "I know officer but she's a good Mother."