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When a man opens the car door for his wife, you can be sure of one thing, either the car is new or the wife is.
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How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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An old lady was getting on the bus to go to the pet cemetery with her cat's remains. As she got on the bus, she whispered to the bus driver, "I have a dead *****." The driver pointed to the lady sitting behind him and said, "Sit with my wife, you two have a lot in common."
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Three women were trapped on an island. They needed to get across the water to the mainland. They came across a genie who said, "I will grant you ladies three wishes."
The first woman said, "Turn me into a fish" and she swam across the water to the other island. The second woman said, "Give me a boat" and she rowed to the other side. The third woman said, "Turn me into a man" and she walked across the bridge.
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What's worse than waking up at a party and finding a p.enis drawn on your face?
Finding out it was traced.
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What do women and noodles have in common?
They both wiggle when you eat them......
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How are Kentucky Fried Chicken and a woman the same?
Once you take away the legs and the breasts you’re left with one greasy box to put your bone in.
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What do you call a smiling Roman soldier with a piece of hair stuck between his front teeth?
A glad-he-ate-her.
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How is life like toilet paper?
You’re either on a roll or taking s.hit from someone.
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How is tightrope walking like getting a blowjob from someone ugly?
If you want to enjoy either, you absolutely can’t look down.
