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Born Corfu, Greece............. true brit, jesus, you are right though he wasn't a 'rascist' he was a ****ing racist. A full privileged life, you ****ing forlock tugging arsehole, 500 quid you put a...

It blows my mind how those numbskull, merry go round managers like McLaren, Hughes and Bruce continue to get employment at a high level. They must have the same magic genie a Danny Dyer and Rylan...

Awesome, you can say ‘prick’. I was saying ****ing, **** **** **** ****ing arsehole, all this time

That’s racist! I’m joking, I was just imagining I was Kevin, Kev, bleh’ve, whatever this guy is called and wearing his shoes. Then embarrassing myself, no mark prick. How’s you, I genuinely hope you...

Not too bad toptoon :)

This’ll be awesome. I became a big problem.....remember that inside your head you are the only ****ing fan of you.....smash it champ....judge the **** out of me..... Tit. As you were.

Jammy! You need to not be friends with me this guy said so! Seriously this no mark piece of ****

Slimfella, password on here p1ayer1, be me it's awesome!!

My real name is Graeme Tait, I'm on...

The dude suffers from crippling depression, he was never going to sign for Newcastle.

You are an idiot Pat, go and have *** with something, seriously. I had forgotten about this corner of bollox until I friended Jammy on facebook recently, you have a lack of something in your life and...

Holy ****, if anyone says Duncan Norvell, you immediately win. All of you that replied, "NO" was the correct answer. I understand it wasn't a yes or no question, but No was the right answer.

I got sacked as an insect ***er. I kept chucking the wee things into a bucket of water.

The supervisor told me to check if they were bouyant FFS :/

I saw some old woman in ASDA get a loads of herbs for nothing just because they were almost past their use by date.

I've never been given free herbs EVER!!!

Well, apart from, there was this won...

Regrets? Well I once got drunk and wished for an owl's head and a clown to follow me everywhere

Still, I can look back and laugh at it now.

I recently bought some rear view mirrors for my hat.

My missus reckons it's extravagant, so what, I like to look after myself.

My mate once bet me that I couldn't keep a fertilised hen's egg up my arsehole for a week.

He won, I chickened out after 2 days.

I found an old donor card in my wallet. 10 years to the day since I agreed to donate my spine.

Aah, that takes me back.

I went to an interview today as an exotic dancer.

The bloke said "So Slim, have you any experience?"

I said "To be honest mate, I know diddly squat"

"Ok, ok, no need to show off, you start...