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  1. Replies
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    Ive renewed ....hopefully get to use afore end...

    Ive renewed ....hopefully get to use afore end of the year.....
  2. Replies
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    110,586

    What did the grape say when it got crushed?........

    What did the grape say when it got crushed?..... Nothing, it just let out a little wine......
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    110,586

    I told my dad to embrace his mistakes. He...

    I told my dad to embrace his mistakes.
    He cried.
    Then he hugged me and my sister...……..
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    414
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    110,586

    My Grandad died because we couldn't remember his...

    My Grandad died because we couldn't remember his blood type. All through his illness he kept insisting, "Be positive."
    Good ol' Grandad , ever the optimist............
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    414
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    110,586

    Man calls 999 and says "I think my wife is dead"...

    Man calls 999 and says "I think my wife is dead" The operator says how do you know?

    He says "The *** is the same but the ironing is building up!"........................
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    414
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    110,586

    Sharon & Tracey are involved in a car crash. The...

    Sharon & Tracey are involved in a car crash. The paramedic called to the scene is checking Sharon over.
    "How many fingers am I holding up?", says the paramedic.
    "Bloody 'ell Trace", Sharon wails,...
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    414
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    110,586

    Accordion to a recent survey, if you replace a...

    Accordion to a recent survey, if you replace a word with a musical instrument, no-one notices..........
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    414
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    110,586

    Two Dundonians walking down Union Street and they...

    Two Dundonians walking down Union Street and they both see a sign in a Shop Window that say's...
    "Suits from £10, Jackets £7.50, Trousers & Dresses £5.00."
    One say's to the other '' Look at those...
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    414
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    110,586

    Just read a book about vintage hi-fi enthusiasts...

    Just read a book about vintage hi-fi enthusiasts and It was rubbish, full of outdated stereotypes........................
  10. Replies
    607
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    90,054

    cabbage tunnels Scotland calling o2 misty in...

    cabbage tunnels
    Scotland calling o2
    misty in roots drygate
    misty in roots somewye in embra
  11. Replies
    414
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    110,586

    I had a job interview yesterday, & I was asked...

    I had a job interview yesterday, & I was asked what my qualities are.

    I said "I can perform under pressure"

    "Thats good" said the bloke, "Can you give me an example?"

    I replied:
    Mm ba ba...
  12. Replies
    607
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    90,054

    Anti racism march and rally , SLF at night ,...

    Anti racism march and rally , SLF at night , glasgow
  13. Replies
    414
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    110,586

    My Mrs says I am crap in bed, but I've but never...

    My Mrs says I am crap in bed, but I've but never heard her moaning.........................
  14. watch that man -Bowie pick up the rockers-tapper...

    watch that man -Bowie
    pick up the rockers-tapper zukie
    unfinished sweet-alice cooper
    king -ub40
    the seagull -mikey dread(nae that great a track)
    sound system-steel pulse
    whats going on-big...
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    414
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    110,586

    Which famous artist has got brown fingers? ...

    Which famous artist has got brown fingers?

    Pickasso.........
  16. Replies
    414
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    110,586

    Apparently it’s been so cold in Dundee today that...

    Apparently it’s been so cold in Dundee today that people have been spotted with their hands in their own pockets.............................
  17. Replies
    414
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    110,586

    What do you call a woman who sounds like an...

    What do you call a woman who sounds like an ambulance?

    Nina............
  18. Replies
    414
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    110,586

    Someone said to me the other day that my grammar...

    Someone said to me the other day that my grammar stinks.
    I thought that was a bit harsh. She is 101 years old, & not in full control............
  19. Replies
    414
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    110,586

    Think I've just been scammed by text. Message...

    Think I've just been scammed by text.
    Message said congratulations you've just one £250 or two tickets all expenses paid, to see an Elvis Presley Tribute Show.
    Text 1 for the money or 2 for the...
  20. Replies
    414
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    110,586

    My gambling addiction cost me my marriage... ...

    My gambling addiction cost me my marriage...

    or as I like to think of it, won me a divorce...............
  21. Replies
    19
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    2,380

    Tak

    Tak
  22. Replies
    414
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    110,586

    Just back from the Doctors. "I've stated eating...

    Just back from the Doctors.
    "I've stated eating my feather pillows in my sleep and I'm really starting to get depressed" I told him.
    "Down in the dumps?" He asked
    "I don't know" I replied "I...
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    19
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    2,380

    duolingo app

    duolingo app
  24. Replies
    414
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    110,586

    I got a Monopoly set for Christmas without any...

    I got a Monopoly set for Christmas without any instructions.

    What are the chances?..........................
  25. Replies
    414
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    110,586

    There's quite a few jokes doing the rounds about...

    There's quite a few jokes doing the rounds about white sugar but ones about brown sugar..... Demerara........
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