Worrit thee Roma that mentioned Gogglebox (Channel 4) a week or two back ? Ad nivva seen it burra watched it and am hooked nar. P1ss missen at the people on theear. Laughing with 'em, not at 'em.
Craig Cash in a daft, morngy voice--
Meanwhile, in Sowerby Bridge, SB and his neighbour Mary, are watching Gillette Soccer Special on Tuesday.
Mary, "A thought tha'd be wanting to watch Man City toneet SB"
"Nah, full Championship fixtures on toneet. Reds at Ipswich and tha can see goals frum all games"
Mary's bloomers were steaming hanging ovva fire guard, familiar yella stain in gussets.
"Pooar drying days SB. Avved to bring 'em in. Oooooooh ! Wiv hit bar"
"Aye Kieffer Mooar"
"Kieffer ? Duz tha meean Keith ? Funny name that. Eeee that Bianca Westwood's showing her age int she. Oooooh look at that Phil Thompson wrigglin abart. Iz not reyt iz he."
"That Mr Morais sez we evvto believe toneet SB, What's he meean ?"
"Neear mind. Itted tek too long to explain"
Mary's phone rings. It's her sister Kathleen. SB thinks OH ffs 20 minutes of listening to the sh1te only wimmin can talk abart on phone. "Did she ! What did she say? No. Ooooh. Av got wunna them frum market. Al mek that fo teear tomorra. Iz gay ! Wot like that Welsh lad on Look North. Dunt he dress luvly"
"Az tha dun yit Mary? Oh FF SAKE. Thuv scooared. Weear wo defensive eearder. Weear wo Davies?"
"Neear mind, thu'll scooar fo us later SB. That Mr Morais will sooart it"
Meanwhile, in Barnsley----