Why do players always cover their mouth when saying something on the pitch?
Why do they need to shake hands with all the mascots that get trotted out at games these days?
How do they always manage to blow the snot out of one nostril without getting it all over their face?
I must have sh*te PSI then as every time I try it I end up in a right mess. Snot hanging from my nose down my chin, what a rid up.
I sometimes try the snot thing when I'm oot running.
It's gads
I can't even spit when I'm out running.
I can't even run when I'm out spitting.
Why do players celebrate goals by jumping on each others back or by a 7 man heapy on ( with risk of injury) when at other times in a match a slight tap on the chest can have them rolling in agony for 5 minutes clutching their face?
Why do first aiders look genuinely disappointed when an injury is not severe enough that they get to use their stretchers ?
What happens to all the coins collected on the pitch ? does the referee hand them in to Lodge walk and if they are not claimed after 3 months he gets to keep them ?
I can effect a magnificent right nostril nose clearance whilst cycling, but the left is less successful. The dried-in results of failure are almost invisible on the left cuff of my yellow HV jaicket, less so on its red counterpart.
Why is Neil Doncaster still in a job?