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Thread: O/t Advice re ***ting.

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    15,137

    O/t Advice re ***ting.

    I consider myself to be reasonably up to date on the technological front..after all I have an iPad and an iPhone.

    I was reading Professor Tanya Byron in the Sunday Times recently and she was giving some relationship advice and suggested ***ting.

    Now coincidentallly on Monday Mrs K happened to suggest that I was spending too much time on here plus the betting sites and neglecting her a bit.

    I have to admit that since doing my 6 month gynae SHO job in 1982 I've been a bit put off by all this rather messy *** stuff although I consider myself to be quite good at the practical aspects of it.

    I decided to follow Tanya's advice and got out my iPhone with a view to sending Mrs K a few raunchy texts.

    I have never done this and quickly realised that I didn't know what to say.

    I have heard that it is now the norm amongst the under 40s so would be grateful for any advice on what I should text.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    1,915

    re: O/t Advice re ***ting.

    Kempo, I'm sure a man of your calibre knows what to say, but matters of such delicacy are always helped with new ideas.

    Just text her about the things you'd like to do to her, avoid topics like burying her under the patio or sticking her head in the oven (I assume you have a gas Aga) and you'll be fine.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Posts
    9,144

    re: O/t Advice re ***ting.

    Q: Do you talk to your wife during ***?
    A: Yes if there's a phone handy.

    :-)

    My wife would smack me in the mush if I sent dirty texts to her. I'll stick to "date night" where we go to the cinema or something.

    Incidentally - Gone Girl is brilliant.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    1,797

    re: O/t Advice re ***ting.

    I think the idea is to take a photo of your private parts get it leaked on to the internet,don't forget to get the Mrs to take a naked one and do the same, if its good enough for all these celebs it's good enough for you !

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    11,992

    re: O/t Advice re ***ting.

    Time to dust off the wide angle lens

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    734

    re: O/t Advice re ***ting.

    Anal Dear ?

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    12,280

    re: O/t Advice re ***ting.

    ive found the dirtier the better. compliments are always best. avoid telling her what you are planning on doing to her, she will prob wet herself laughing.

    if the reply comes back as how disgusted she is with you.
    best re-reply would be ooops sorry that was meant to go to your sister (or brother if you prefer)

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    2,990

    re: O/t Advice re ***ting.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bonneville
    Anal Dear?
    Depends on how much you are willing to pay I suppose.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    3,521

    re: O/t Advice re ***ting.

    Make sure you text the right person. I've made that mistake, just ask Villa.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    3,989

    re: O/t Advice re ***ting.

    Quote Originally Posted by scum_triumphant
    Make sure you text the right person. I've made that mistake, just ask Villa.
    remember that scum ,still makes me smile

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