Before Es***red jinxes Davieboy I'd better get mine in:

Tories - 288

Lib-Dems 33

UKIP 6

3 way coalition between Lib-Dems, Tories and UKIP

Labour 252

SNP 45

Speaker 1

N.Irish seats 18

Smaller parties/IND 7

If as expected Sinn Fein don't take up their 5 seats - The Tory/lib-Dem coalition on its own can continue with their 321 total (the Speaker doesn't vote in a confidence motion)