I have a question in regards to your self esteem. It underpins everything. The Universe is like a restaurant. You walk in. Or in this case you are born.
You look at the menu, and order your food. The waiter or waitress looks at it, and their job is to deliver it to you.
What you dont see is their reaction to your order. There may be wild laughing and thigh slapping. They may need to lean against a wall to stay upright, they are laughing that hard.
Or they may be sad. You could have ordered a banquet fit for a king, but have ordered bread and butter and a glass of water.
They may just admire what youve ordered, and choice of wine.

The state houses you, feeds you, treats you,educates you, finances lengthy football trips abroad, and you pretend to be stupid to justify it. You can talk normally.
Then you commit a crime, allegedly, that is utterly despicable.

How do you square it with yourself?and others.

Tazzy.