Reply With QuoteQ What do you give a ****phile who has everything?
A A bigger parish!
he wont like that one
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Originally Posted by "lazaat"[/quote
I don't think he is a forest fan, more a left wing agitator!
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Q What do you give a ****phile who has everything?
A A bigger parish!
he wont like that one
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A man walked into an agent"s office in Hollywood and said, "I want to be a movie star." Tall, handsome and with experience on Broadway, he had the right credentials. The agent asked, "What"s your?" The guy said, "My is **** van Lesbian."The agent said, "Sir, I hate to tell you, but to get into Hollywood you have to change your." "I will NOT change my! The van Lesbian is centuries old, I will not disrespect my grandfather by changing my," replied the man. The agent said, "Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for years... you will NEVER go far with a like **** van Lesbian! I"m telling you, you have to change your or I will not be able to represent you." "So be it!" replied the man, storming out. "I guess we will not do business together!"Five years later the agent opened an envelope sent to his office. Inside the envelope was a letter and a cheque for $50,000. The agent was awe-struck. Who would send him $50,000? He read the letter... "Dear sir, five ye
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A couple want to have a bash at anal ***, but the woman decides to play it safe and seek medical advice first."Anal *** is perfectly safe," says her doctor, "as long as you take it slowly at first and use plenty of lubricant. And you take care not to get pregnant, of course.""What?" says the woman incredulously, "You can get pregnant from anal ***?""Certainly," replies the doc, "where do you think Forest fans come from?"
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An elderly couple are having dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary. The old man leans forward and says to his wife, "It has always bothered me that our tenth child never quite looked like the rest of our children. I want to assure you that these 75 years have been the most wonderful experience I could have ever hoped for and your answer will never take all that away. But... I must know, did he have a different father?"The wife drops her head, unable to look her husband in the eye, pauses for moment and then confesses. "Yes, he did.""Who was he?" he asks.The old woman drops her head, trying to muster the courage to tell the truth to her husband. She gulps down her wine and finally, she says, "You."
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Boy in the bath with his mum. Boy says, "Whats that hairy thing mum ?" Mum replies, "That is my sponge." "Oh yes," says the boy, "The babysitters got one, I've seen her washing dads face with it ."
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A lady walks into a fancy jewellery store. She browses around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely she inadvertently breaks wind. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her. Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady with, "Good day, Madam How may we help you today?" Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may not have been there at the time of her little "accident!" she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?" He answers, "Madam, if you farted just looking at it, you're going to **** when I tell you the price."
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Joe is on his last day at work as a mailman. He receives many thank-you cards and monetary gifts along his route. When he gets to the very last house, he is greeted by a gorgeous housewife, who invites him in for lunch. Joe happily accepts. After lunch, the woman invites him up to the bedroom for some "desert." Joe happily accepts again. When they are done, the woman gives him a dollar. Joe asks what the dollar is all about. The woman replies: "It was my husband's suggestion. When I told him that it was your last day at work, he told me 'F**k him, give him a dollar. The lunch was my idea."
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One day a Jew, a Hindu, and a Forest fan all arrived at their hotel to find that there had been a mix-up with the bookings, and that there was only one room left for them to share. The manager explained that this room only had two beds, but that there was a barn at a neighbouring farm which the farmer, an old friend of his, would let one of them sleep in free of charge. They complained a bit, but since there was nowhere else to go, the Jew graciously said he"d sleep in the barn. The Hindu and the Forest fan were just settling down to sleep in their room, when there was a knock on the door. It was the Jew. "I"m sorry," he said, "but there"s a pig in that barn and because I"m Jewish I feel uncomfortable about sharing the barn with it.""No problem," said the Hindu. I'll sleep out there instead." So off he went to the barn, leaving the Forest fan and the Jew to share the room. They were just settling down to sleep, when there was a knock on the door. It was the Hindu. "I"m sorry," he said,
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Do I really care?
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