OT The crap joke thread..................

[Slimfella]

Regrets? Well I once got drunk and wished for an owl's head and a clown to follow me everywhere

Still, I can look back and laugh at it now.

[Slimfella]

I saw some old woman in ASDA get a loads of herbs for nothing just because they were almost past their use by date.

I've never been given free herbs EVER!!!

Well, apart from, there was this won thyme.......

[Slimfella]

I got sacked as an insect ***er. I kept chucking the wee things into a bucket of water.

The supervisor told me to check if they were bouyant FFS :/

[leontrotsky]

I tell apocalypse jokes like there is no tomorrow......

[leontrotsky]

"My dad suggested I register for a donor card, he's a man after my own heart.".................Fringe

[Pacman1903]

^^^^^^

Aye i heard that was the joke of the festival. Slow month

[52N4E]

A hypnotist once convinced me I was a soft, malleable metal with an atomic number of 82. I’m easily lead.

[Pacman1903]

I just opened a birthday card and rice went everywhere

I was from Uncle Ben

[Pacman1903]

I just wrote a great song about a tortilla

Well i say song, its more of a wrap

[Brian Grantland]

You know when you get that urge to eat something just because it's there?

Anyway, I lost my job as a gynaecologist today.