When I heard they had found a cure for dyslexia, it was music to my arse..........
Heading down to the Autopsy Club later.
It’s open Mike night........................
When I heard they had found a cure for dyslexia, it was music to my arse..........
A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3.
He says, "uno, dos..." Poof ...
He disappears without a tres!............................................. .....
Did you know...?
England striker Danny Welbeck's father Stanley is a world renowned bomb disposal expert
Stan Welbeck........................
I said to my girlfriend the other day, "you remind me of my little toe".
Her : "Why"?
Me: "I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture in this house"
Two boys have been arrested for riding a vacuum cleaner down a steep hill.
The arresting officer said the two were Dyson with death
My wife said that she was leaving me because I always exaggerate.
I was so shocked I almost tripped over my knob!!
For a birthday present I've bought my wife a new fridge.
It might not be much but I can't wait to see her face light up when she opens it.......
Took my male cat to get neutered today. It's okay, no hard felines.
People are usually shocked when they find out I'm not a very good electrician........