OT The crap joke thread..................

[Disco Buc]

My wife was trying to be ***y last night.
She lay on the bed licking a lollipop then she slowly started to slide it in her fannny.
"Steady on love" I said "
You're going to need that for when you cross the kids over the road for school in the morning.

Lol I'm still laughing.

[sheepcrooky]

I was in the Indian restaurant and in walked Mother Theresa and Mother Katrina. "No", I said to the waiter, "I wanted two naans".

[sheepcrooky]

Chinese takeaway £24
Tip to the driver £2
Finding out they missed two cartons Riceless.

[leontrotsky]

What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?

Donald Trump wouldn't pay $1000 to have a lentil on his face.

[Stainlessly]

I've started to routinely look out for the nurse who visits our pregnant next door neighbour every day. The thing is I'm not sure if it is actually her I fancy, or if I've got a nurses uniform fetish.

Could I be going through a midwife crisis?

[Stainlessly]

There's a long legged bird keeps standing outside across the road, watching my house and following me when I go out.

...... I think I'm being storked

[Stainlessly]

Shopping in town with my girlfriend we saw a group of ***y ****agers in miniskirts. "Cor!!" I chuckled. "I bet you wish you had legs like those!"

She didn't reply, but I could tell she was upset...... I heard her sniffle as I wheeled her up the ramp into Debenhams.

[leontrotsky]

My mate just died filming a golden shower scene in a ****o


Rest In Piss Dave.....................................

[Pacman1903]

Where do you take a deaf Scottish lassie on holiday?

Ballater

[sheepcrooky]

I went to the doctor and told him I had hurt my peni$ in a surfing incident. He said "did you fall off your surf-board?". "No, I closed my laptop on it when the wife walked in".