OT The crap joke thread..................

[leontrotsky]

My wife had to have her feet amputated. I had no time for the stupid woman after that
Turns out I'm Lactose intolerant..........

[leontrotsky]

My wife came home early the other day and caught me masturbating over an optical illusion.

As she stormed out I called after her...

“but honey... it’s not what it looks like!”........................................

[leontrotsky]

I was recently on safari in the Serengeti and witnessed two male lions shagging.

I thought blimey, have they got no pride?.........

[leontrotsky]

A Pirate goes to the doctors.
“Aaarrrghhh Doctor there be some moles on my back I’d like you to look at”
Doctor: “It’s ok they’re benign”

“Count again Doc, I think there be ten”......................

[leontrotsky]

After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for 10 years.

But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it..................................

[eastnuekdon]

Just been to Tesco and swapped 50 raisins for a 100 sultanas

Can’t believe the currant exchange rate.

[leontrotsky]

The first rule of Alzheimers Club is...err...

[leontrotsky]

I didn’t think my new orthopaedic shoes were doing me any good but I stand corrected...............................

[leontrotsky]

Got approached by a street magician claiming to be a mind reader today, he said "Think of any card, and focus on it, focus intently, picture yourself holding it and repeat it in your mind". After the usual stage show, fingers on the temple and intense staring, he glares at me and says "Three of Clubs!!", I answer "Sorry, you're wrong". A few seconds later he says "Nine of Hearts!!!", I reply "Nope, wrong again". So he asks "Well what card are you thinking of?".............................................. ...............................................


Congratulation on the birth of your new son

[leontrotsky]

Knock Knock
Whos there?
The Interupting Cow
The Inte..
MOOOOOO !