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Thread: OT The crap joke thread..................

  1. #361
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    1,213
    Nicked from Jerry Sadowitz:

    If you pour boiling water over someone from Dundee you get a new flavour of Pot Noodle.

  2. #362
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    2,523
    Which famous artist has got brown fingers?

    Pickasso.........

  3. #363
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    2,523
    My Mrs says I am crap in bed, but I've but never heard her moaning.........................

  4. #364
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    2,523
    I had a job interview yesterday, & I was asked what my qualities are.

    I said "I can perform under pressure"

    "Thats good" said the bloke, "Can you give me an example?"

    I replied:
    Mm ba ba de
    Um bum ba de
    Um bu bu bum da de
    Pressure pushing down on me................................................

  5. #365
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    2,523
    Just read a book about vintage hi-fi enthusiasts and It was rubbish, full of outdated stereotypes........................

  6. #366
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    2,523
    Two Dundonians walking down Union Street and they both see a sign in a Shop Window that say's...
    "Suits from £10, Jackets £7.50, Trousers & Dresses £5.00."
    One say's to the other '' Look at those prices'' ''We could buy a boatload and take them home to Dundee and treble our money''
    They both go into the shop and say to the Assistant....
    ''I would like Twenty Suits, Thirty Jackets, Fifty pairs of Trousers and Twenty five dresses please''
    The Assistant say's ''Are you two from Dundee ?''
    ''Yes'' they say, ''How do you know that?''
    The Assistant says...
    ''This is a Dry Cleaners''........................

  7. #367
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    4,193
    Got my viagra and sleeping pills mixed up yesterday. Went off to have forty ****s.

  8. #368
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    4,193
    Quote Originally Posted by sheepcrooky View Post
    Got my viagra and sleeping pills mixed up yesterday. Went off to have forty ****s.
    w.a.n.k.s !!

  9. #369
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    4,193
    Why is Mickey Mouse’s helicopter ****e..............because it Disneyland.

  10. #370
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    4,193
    Quote Originally Posted by sheepcrooky View Post
    Why is Mickey Mouse’s helicopter ****e..............because it Disneyland.
    s.h.i.t.e. !!! Are there any words allowed here nowadays.

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