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Thread: OT The crap joke thread..................

  1. #1

    OT The crap joke thread..................

    Went to the doctors the other day and he told me I was colour blind.

    Talk about a bolt out of the orange.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Meldrum Rock City
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    25,087

    re: OT The crap joke thread..................

    A man goes to hospital with six horses up his butt

    His condition has been described as stable.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Location
    Westhill - Home of the new Kingsford Stadium
    Posts
    2,038

    re: OT The crap joke thread..................

    What do you call a 30 year old woman in Liverpool / Glasgow / Dundee (choose as you wish)?

    Grandma!

  4. #4

    re: OT The crap joke thread..................

    Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn't change colour?

    He had a reptile dysfunction

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Meldrum Rock City
    Posts
    25,087

    re: OT The crap joke thread..................

    A seal walks into a club...........

  6. #6

    re: OT The crap joke thread..................

    A young country lad is at the local farmer's dance. He spies in the distance, a fine looking young lassie. After building up as much courage as he can, he saunters over to her and asks her would she like to dance. She does, so they do. After a few slow dances he looks her straight in the eye and says "Can I smell your fanny?" to which she, not altogether unsurprisingly replies "You certainly can NOT!!" He nonchalantly turns to her and says "Oh, it must be your feet then".

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    GlasVegas
    Posts
    1,779

    re: OT The crap joke thread..................

    Jesus walks into a inn

    He throws 5 nails on the floor and says to the innkeeper.

    "Can you put me up for the night"

  8. #8

    re: OT The crap joke thread..................

    Man walks in to a bar, he comes out with 14 stitches and a broken nose.

    It was an iron bar.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    The Foggy Dump
    Posts
    3,057

    re: OT The crap joke thread..................

    I went to a zoo last week, it only had one dog. It was a ****zu.

    s h I t z u

  10. #10

    re: OT The crap joke thread..................

    ^^^^ This site starring out that word just made me laugh. Totally fu.cked up the punchline.

    I do like that joke though.

  11. #11

    re: OT The crap joke thread..................

    Why do cows have hooves rather than feet?

    They Lack toes.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Meldrum Rock City
    Posts
    25,087

    re: OT The crap joke thread..................

    I bought a new Satnav recently and it's really good,

    Yesterday I drove past a Zoo and it said Bear Left .....

    Now that's clever !

  13. #13

    re: OT The crap joke thread..................

    So I went to the doctor...
    I said "I keep having this recurring dream...beautiful naked women run towards me, breast bouncing. I keep having to push them away"
    "What do you want me to do about it", says the doctor...

    "Break my arms" I reply.

  14. #14

    re: OT The crap joke thread..................

    Gambling has brought my family much closer together.
    We had to move to a smaller house.

  15. #15

    re: OT The crap joke thread..................

    What did the man do when he found a trumpet tree in his back garden?

    He root-id-it-oot

  16. #16

    re: OT The crap joke thread..................

    How much are the Xmas cracker people paying you?
    ?

  17. #17

    re: OT The crap joke thread..................

    Here's a belter for you

    DUNDEE UTD

  18. #18

    re: OT The crap joke thread..................

    Tsk

  19. #19

    re: OT The crap joke thread..................

    Jesus loves you!!
    When he's so bored of killing African babies

  20. #20

    re: OT The crap joke thread..................

    He will eventually bore himself to death.....it's maybe happening already

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