Reply With QuoteI'm not saying my girlfriend is flat-chested.
But the label on her bra reads "Contents may settle in transit".
New Member
Some really tragic news from the Nestle factory. A man was crushed to death by hundreds of boxes of chocolate bars.
He tried crying for help, but every time he shouted "the Milky Bars are on me!", everyone cheered.
New Member
I'm not saying my girlfriend is flat-chested.
But the label on her bra reads "Contents may settle in transit".
Hall Of Fame
Perhaps off topic but I saw in the P&J that the Council is having a nudist conference at the Town House next Monday. I may go if I have nothing on.
Hall Of Fame
Hall Of Fame
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France?
There was nothing left but de brie
Hall Of Fame
My wife says shes leaving me because of my obsession with cats.
Shes kicking miaowt
New Member
My missus asked me "What's your all time favourite opening line to a movie?"
I thought for a moment, and said "I've come to fix the washing machine...."
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I rolled off the wife and huffed. "Christ, it's like sh*gging an inflatable doll," I complained. She didn't reply, just stared at me in shock, wide-eyed and open-mouthed.
"You're not helping yourself here," I said.
New Member
I phoned the radio station yesterday.
The presenter answered and said, "Congratulations on being our first caller, all you need to do is answer the following question correctly, to win our grand prize!"
"That fantastic!" I shouted in delight.
"Feel confident?" The presenter asked, "Its a maths question."
"Well, I've got a degree in maths," I proudly replied, "and teach it my local school."
"Ok then, to win our grand prize of 2 front row seats to a Dundee game and to meet the team after the game what is 2+2?"
"7" I replied
New Member
I said to my wife, "lets go out to eat tonight."
She came back with the classic, "I have nothing to wear" reply.
So I said to her, "just wear what you had on the last time we went out, you looked beautiful."
So there we were in the local steak house, me in jeans and a T shirt, and her in her wedding dress!
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