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Thread: OT The crap joke thread..................

  1. #291
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    2,523
    Did you hear about the dyslexic Ku Klux Klansman?

    He went around killing gingers..............

  2. #292
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
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    A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced Up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took The seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?”

    She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."

    He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!

    Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your Business at this convention?”

    “Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about ***uality.”

    “Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?”

    “Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is Scotsmen who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Irish

    Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. “I’m Sorry,” she said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t Even know your name.”

    “Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto McTavish but my friends call me Paddy"......................................

  3. #293
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    Aug 2009
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    I've just been to my doctor, he really is fantastic. I told him I kept thinking I was a side of bacon, he took one look at me and told me I was cured......

  4. #294
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    May 2009
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    30,497
    Why do swedish warships have barcodes on em?

    To scandinavian

  5. #295
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    Aug 2009
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    I got into an argument with a dwarf today after I accidentally walked into him.

    He was shouting at me, saying, 'You ****ing tosser, watch where you're going' etc.

    I was going to say something back, but decided to be the bigger man

  6. #296
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    Aug 2009
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    The other day I took my granddad to one of those spa places where a tank full of little fish eat all your dead skin.

    Cost me nearly £50, but it was still cheaper than a funeral.............

  7. #297
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Posts
    747
    My kids keep taking the p1sh out of me because of my alzheimer's

    They'll laugh on the other side of their face when there's no eggs under the bonfire.

  8. #298
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
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    2,523
    Some Egyptian bloke just pulled up in a BMW, beeped his horn and bared his naked backside out of the window.
    ..........Bloody toot and car moon!.........

  9. #299
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    May 2009
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    30,497
    Why did the cannibal eat a tightrope walker?

    He wanted a balanced meal

  10. #300
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    May 2009
    Posts
    30,497
    Why can't gingers do trigonometry?

    Because they can't get a tan

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