Originally Posted by
ragnarok
I typed 'Kenny McLean', '$300k' and 'Rangers' into the 'West Coast Media Article Generator' and here's what it came out with:
DON-'T DASH MY PAL KENNY'S GERS DREAM
Gers star Ryan Jack today SLAMMED ex club Aberdeen for blocking a £300k swoop to bring midfielder Kenny McLean to his boyhood heroes. The beleaguered Dons are suffering from a crushing summer exodus as a host of top stars scramble for the exit door.
Jack, who moved from Aberdeen to Rangers on a free transfer at the end of last season, insists that a Gers switch for former teammate McLean is inevitable.
"I think Kenny is in a similar position to myself. Once I found out that Rangers were interested, I didn't want to go anywhere else"
"I had some good years at Aberdeen but this is the next level. We gave Celtic a real go for a few seasons but everyone in Scotland knows that Rangers are the only club capable of challenging Celtic"
"The chance to play in front of 50,000 passionate fans every week and to play in Old Firm derbies, that's something every player in Scotland wants to experience"
And Jack reckons that McLean has all the attributes needed to lead the Gers' title charge next season.
"Kenny has been a key player for Aberdeen but he'll benefit from being surrounded by a higher caliber of player and the chance to be a Scotland International"
VILE
The [insert rag of choice] can also exclusively reveal that Jack has been undergoing therapy after VILE Dons trolls bombarded the player with sick abuse on social media.
"It's always a small number of morons. Most Aberdeen fans have been very supportive and understand that I'm moving to a bigger club to better myself"
Any clichés omitted?