Heathrow B@starding Airport

[Pacman1903]

Got home today but didnt have my usual flights Luanda-Amsterdam-Aberdeen. Instead i went Luanda-Johannesburg-Heathrow-Aberdeen.

Anyway i landed in Terminal 2 via South African airways, then straight on the bus to Terminal 5. When entering i checked in at the BA desk and the dude was a gent and even got me on the 7.55 instead of the 13.55 as there was space. Good start.

Then i went to the security. Queued for 5 mins in the domestic connection line, and i had to show my boarding card only , then i joined another queue which took 15 minutes so i could show only my passport, then another 10 min queue to get my photo taken. Im no security expert but could all this sh@t nae be done in a f@cking oner or would that be too f@cking simple

Then i join a queue for 15 mins to stick my bag through the xray machine but i again have to show my passport and boarding pass to some guy before doing it. Obviously just incase someone has stolen my ticket off me in the 10 meters i have walked since it was last showed it.So im through the personal machine and my bag is in the machine for at least 3 minutes. By this point i am boiling and have 5 mins to get to the gate so i shouted "oi fits going on" to which i got back "these things take time" so i said " its been checked in two airports prior to this, you know what keep the f@cking thing as it only has a phone charger,a dirty pair of scuds and a hoody in it and i have a plane to catch" so it came through straight away. Probably the mention of the scuds put the fear in them. Made the flight just.

But the guts of an hour to connect a flight is a f@cking joke. The place is security gone wrong. Absolute overkill and everyone that works there are grumpy pr@cks. I will be avoiding that place like the plague in future


Anyway the gent in the start of the story is a life saver. As the 13.55 was cancelled due to fog. So the hassle at security was worth it but still sh@te non the loss

[mondo_notion]

I got in to Gatwick about 2 hours ago and received a text message saying my connecting flight to Edinburgh was cancelled due to the fog.

So spare ticket for the game tonight if anyone wants to sway in past London on the way F*ckin fog.

[Pacman1903]

It was pea soup when i left at 7.55 and the pilot said we were lucky to get away

[Jupiter]

Could have been worse, the security guy could have put on a rubber glove and stuck his finger up your butt.

[Disco Buc]

My Spanish neighbour was stuck in one of the London airports I was supposed to pick her up.

Never heard from her she wasn't home at midday today.
Hope she's fine.

[Pacman1903]

I noticed Brighton v some other team has been fogged aaff tonight. Must not have lifted all day

[Kingdomred]

No quite on topic, but Id like to share an experience I once had in America. The wife and I were on a Caribbean Cruise, and when we came back into Fort Lauderdale, we had to come through customs. They had sniffer dogs checking out bags, nae doubt checking for dope or whatever. Then we went on to a desk where they were x raying cases and a security guy manning the screen. I was about 6th or 7th in the line, and just perusing the guys screen as the cases passed by. Then all at once this image appeared on the screen of a case, and bang in the middle of the clothes there was as clear as day, a bloody great hand pistol. I took a second look and as casual as you like, the screen operator hit a button and the gun vanished. Ive often wondered if it was a sort of check up thing to make sure that the operator was paying attention, and would get his backside kicked for missing it, or if it was maybe from an undercover agent working on the boat, and when they saw it they could somehow mask it if the operator knew the agent personally. Anyway if anyone has any theories about what was goin on i would like to hear your opinions.

[InversneckieDob]

Pac, I'm guessing they just reckoned you were a wrong 'un.
I was through Heathrow puckle months ago for the first time in donkeys. First time I'd done the check in online in advance.
A'thing went swimmingly, though I was sure sumaat would go t1ts up.
Boarding card on yer phone.......fit'll they come up with next?

[Pacman1903]

Pac, I'm guessing they just reckoned you were a wrong 'un.
I was through Heathrow puckle months ago for the first time in donkeys. First time I'd done the check in online in advance.
A'thing went swimmingly, though I was sure sumaat would go t1ts up.
Boarding card on yer phone.......fit'll they come up with next?

If i had it on my phone i still would have had to show it numerous times. The place is sh@te and its workers need some festive spirit (even though i doubt most of the worker celebrate christmas)

[mondo_notion]

No quite on topic, but Id like to share an experience I once had in America. The wife and I were on a Caribbean Cruise, and when we came back into Fort Lauderdale, we had to come through customs. They had sniffer dogs checking out bags, nae doubt checking for dope or whatever. Then we went on to a desk where they were x raying cases and a security guy manning the screen. I was about 6th or 7th in the line, and just perusing the guys screen as the cases passed by. Then all at once this image appeared on the screen of a case, and bang in the middle of the clothes there was as clear as day, a bloody great hand pistol. I took a second look and as casual as you like, the screen operator hit a button and the gun vanished. Ive often wondered if it was a sort of check up thing to make sure that the operator was paying attention, and would get his backside kicked for missing it, or if it was maybe from an undercover agent working on the boat, and when they saw it they could somehow mask it if the operator knew the agent personally. Anyway if anyone has any theories about what was goin on i would like to hear your opinions.

Maybe the security guy was thrown a few hundred dollars to 'look the other way' by a wrong 'un. Pacman wasn't on the same cruise was he?