Not many football games postponed this weekend – no fixture wite-out


No Artic blast – just a wee bit King Billy


Zero inches of snow – not SIX INCHES


Temperatures in positive territory – up to 4C – not -14C


No major weather related travel disruptions AFAIK


Fake news rather than real news


No White Sunday, just red faces at the Tory/SNP rag


Come back Michael Fish – all is forgiven


Or maybe sh1ttybed has got a job at the Met Office