The Heelan League 2017/18 Thread

[57vintage]

The Haughs would probably be waterlogged anyway

Mackessack Park is on the Spey flood plain!

[Pacman1903]

After vintages spey flood plain Rothes is watterlogged
Vale v Buckie
Formartinks v Strathspey
Forres v Clach
Broch v Turrah
Locos v Nairn
Keith v Huntly
Lossie v Sevcove
Rothes P v P Brora
Wick v The Fort

[57vintage]

After vintages spey flood plain Rothes is watterlogged
Vale v Buckie
Formartinks v Strathspey
Forres v Clach
Broch v Turrah
Locos v Nairn
Keith v Huntly
Lossie v Sevcove
Rothes P v P Brora
Wick v The Fort

Two tasty local derbies there.

[Pacman1903]

Two tasty local derbies there.

Wish I had taken one on. Instead I decided to head to Gallowshill(never played or viewed there) to watch Newburgh Thistle v Dufftown only to get there and find out it was waterlogged off. I reckon there's shenanigans afoot as it hasn't rained for two days, its a links pitch and its breezy as f@ck. Surely that pitch was playable.

[Pacman1903]

Buckie are officially sh@te

Vale 2 v 1 Buckie
Formartinks 4 v 0 Strathspey
Forres 4 v 1 Clach
Broch 4 v 0 Turrah
Locos 4 v 1 Nairn
Keith 1 v 2 Huntly
Lossie 0 v 7 Sevcove
Rothes P v P Brora
Wick 6 v 0 The Fort

[57vintage]

Keith one up and pressing. A trundling shot from just inside the box looks likes easy meat for a defender on the line, but he stumbles and deliberately paws the ball away. Graham Beaton, the ref, looks away and there’s uproar from Keith players, fans and the coaching team whilst the Huntly bench remains guiltily silent. The linesman on the side I’m standing at, tells our injured skipper, standing by me, “I saw it, but the referee’s in a clearer position and it’s his decision”. He’s wearing a headset and has a buzzer button on his flag’s handle, for ****’s sake.

Then adding potential leg-breaking injury to insult, it was almost poetic as our right back was halved, on the halfway line, just on half time. We got a throw-in.

Highland League referees are generally OK, as they deal with what is a tough league but this **** today was taking the piss to add to his utter incompetence.

A penalty and two red cards (unless it was the same thuggish prick who committed both offences) would have had the game sewn up by half-time.

The ****ing arsehole **** got enormous stick when he slunk off at the end. I hope the club lodges an official complaint, and that his next ****e is a broken Whitbread bottle.

****ing arsehole.

[InversneckieDob]

a broken Whitbread bottle.

Used to be hoooorin' partial to a bottle o' Whitbread, do you still get it?

Question, aff 'i' shelf or oota the chiller?

Ower cauld and it went a bit gassy, but you needed it wi' a minor chill.

[krakowdon]

It's not for me to gainsay your predilections Sneckie min, but I'd have thought the temperature of the glass would be the last thing on my mind if a broken bottle was traversing my anal sphincter, whatever the direction of travel.

For what it's worth, my guess is you prefer it slightly chilled.

[57vintage]

Straight aff the shelf as in the Pittodrie Bar 1979. Ambient temperature. In a straight glass. Original container pounded with a hammer, then sent via the post to G Beaton, the ****, inside a dead rat.

[InversneckieDob]

It's not for me to gainsay your predilections Sneckie min, but I'd have thought the temperature of the glass would be the last thing on my mind if a broken bottle was traversing my anal sphincter, whatever the direction of travel.

For what it's worth, my guess is you prefer it slightly chilled.

Nae chilled, but nae warm