At Home with the McCanns - Part 3

[stokearab]

The interview with Neil after the Ross County draw had been a tetchy affair, but today saw him in more relaxed mood – at least to begin with. With a tricky away SPL cup tie at Hamilton upcoming on the Saturday I waited in the kitchen for Neil to appear, and wondered what mood I would find him in. Carrie was already in the kitchen, knitting furiously, reading the Courier and eating breakfast. Women can do all of these things at once. She had borrowed Neil’s Roma top and despite the stains it fitted her well and it was clear to see why Johann Midick had made her the first Carrie Midick.

Wagner the dog was for once quiet in his basket, but as soon as Neil appeared Wagner started shagging his leg. “Down Wagner” screamed Neil. “Carrie, this dog’s got to go!”

Carrie looked across at Neil and calmly disagreed. “He’s going nowhere Neil, I like Wagner and he’s staying”. While she was on her highhorse Carrie continued “Oh and something else Neil, I’ve taken on a gardener, and about time” Neil helped himself to some bacon and eggs before agreeing with Carrie “I’m glad you booked a gardener Carrie, that garden is getting out of hand, it’s like a jungle out there”

Carrie groaned and replied “I’ve not booked one Neil, I’ve taken one on full time”
“Good” Neil replied “Tell him to get rid of that shopping trolley as well, it’s getting overgrown with weeds up the side of the shed there”

Carrie liked the shopping trolley so much she had brought it all the way from Tesco in Broughty Ferry, but she wasn’t about to tell Neil it was staying along with Wagner.
Neil looked up from his breakfast with a frown and said “Carrie, have you changed the bacon we’re getting, this is fatty” Carrie sighed and said “Actually yes Neil, it’s new. I think it’s Danish, could be Swedish maybe. It says on the packet it’s from Tromso ”

Neil pushed his plate aside and thought about this for a moment. “Tromso’s not In Denmark” he replied

“Is that right Mr Bloody Bacon Expert” came Carries reply “How do you know? It could be for all you know” Neil frowned .

“Carrie, I know it’s not in Denmark, or Sweden, I made a video about Moussa playing there and it was all wrong, a complete nightmare because it’s in Norway and it’s all over the internet now”

“Serves you right pal” said Carrie with that loving knife twist of a long suffering wife.

Neil decided on some fresh air before the drive from Tannadice to Dens. He headed for the garden and a seat on his bench – Neil’s favourite place before work. He’d paid £400 for it at Dobbies in Monifieth the previous month. But he wasn’t happy when he saw a scruffy little fat man lounging on it, swigging from a can of Stella and reading the Daily Record. As he got closer he could see it was none other than Paul Hartley.

Neil’s rage boiled over “I told you Hartley, stop coming round here, now I don’t know how you got in, but f uck off out of here!”

Hartley turned a page without looking up and said “No can do Neil, I’m your new gardener”





Coming soon in part 4...............Neil gets lost in Fife and Nelms has a proposition

[utd4me]

tips from the wee tinky on gardening or anything else thet have in common

[GUNBOAT]

Its getting better Stokie boy and you are gonna have load's and load's of material to work with until the pundit gets punted.

[Greetin in Bed]

The interview with Neil after the Ross County draw had been a tetchy affair, but today saw him in more relaxed mood – at least to begin with. With a tricky away SPL cup tie at Hamilton upcoming on the Saturday I waited in the kitchen for Neil to appear, and wondered what mood I would find him in. Carrie was already in the kitchen, knitting furiously, reading the Courier and eating breakfast. Women can do all of these things at once. She had borrowed Neil’s Roma top and despite the stains it fitted her well and it was clear to see why Johann Midick had made her the first Carrie Midick.

Wagner the dog was for once quiet in his basket, but as soon as Neil appeared Wagner started shagging his leg. “Down Wagner” screamed Neil. “Carrie, this dog’s got to go!”

Carrie looked across at Neil and calmly disagreed. “He’s going nowhere Neil, I like Wagner and he’s staying”. While she was on her highhorse Carrie continued “Oh and something else Neil, I’ve taken on a gardener, and about time” Neil helped himself to some bacon and eggs before agreeing with Carrie “I’m glad you booked a gardener Carrie, that garden is getting out of hand, it’s like a jungle out there”

Carrie groaned and replied “I’ve not booked one Neil, I’ve taken one on full time”
“Good” Neil replied “Tell him to get rid of that shopping trolley as well, it’s getting overgrown with weeds up the side of the shed there”

Carrie liked the shopping trolley so much she had brought it all the way from Tesco in Broughty Ferry, but she wasn’t about to tell Neil it was staying along with Wagner.
Neil looked up from his breakfast with a frown and said “Carrie, have you changed the bacon we’re getting, this is fatty” Carrie sighed and said “Actually yes Neil, it’s new. I think it’s Danish, could be Swedish maybe. It says on the packet it’s from Tromso ”

Neil pushed his plate aside and thought about this for a moment. “Tromso’s not In Denmark” he replied

“Is that right Mr Bloody Bacon Expert” came Carries reply “How do you know? It could be for all you know” Neil frowned .

“Carrie, I know it’s not in Denmark, or Sweden, I made a video about Moussa playing there and it was all wrong, a complete nightmare because it’s in Norway and it’s all over the internet now”

“Serves you right pal” said Carrie with that loving knife twist of a long suffering wife.

Neil decided on some fresh air before the drive from Tannadice to Dens. He headed for the garden and a seat on his bench – Neil’s favourite place before work. He’d paid £400 for it at Dobbies in Monifieth the previous month. But he wasn’t happy when he saw a scruffy little fat man lounging on it, swigging from a can of Stella and reading the Daily Record. As he got closer he could see it was none other than Paul Hartley.

Neil’s rage boiled over “I told you Hartley, stop coming round here, now I don’t know how you got in, but f uck off out of here!”

Hartley turned a page without looking up and said “No can do Neil, I’m your new gardener”





Coming soon in part 4...............Neil gets lost in Fife and Nelms has a proposition

No more please Stoke.Its much too funny.
My sides are aching.
You're an affy lad Stoke.A bunch of laughs

[stokearab]

No more please Stoke.Its much too funny.
My sides are aching.
You're an affy lad Stoke.A bunch of laughs

Hiya John. Glad you like them. Just at Neil's now getting the next interview 😆

[Greetin in Bed]

Hiya John. Glad you like them. Just at Neil's now getting the next interview 😆

I believe that you are writing a book about too soon to be serialised in 'The Times 'literary columns.?
I believe too that you are launching your razor sharp witted novel with a signing session.?
I would advise all those with heart problems to tell their doctor if you're planning to go as he might suggest that it's a risk too far to be subjected to Stoke wit and humour.
I certainly won't go alone lest I find myself falling about in the Isles at the knockout lines stoke delivers.
Not for the weak of heart or the feeble minded .
What a lad you are stoke.
A living legend on these boards.
What do you think gunboat.?
Isnt stoke just the funniest thing ever to tread these boards.?
(Can't wait for the next embarrassing chapter.)

[Charlie arab]

Still no answered Japan Arabs question Greeting pus? You've had plenty time to think about it

[stokearab]

I believe that you are writing a book about too soon to be serialised in 'The Times 'literary columns.?
I believe too that you are launching your razor sharp witted novel with a signing session.?
I would advise all those with heart problems to tell their doctor if you're planning to go as he might suggest that it's a risk too far to be subjected to Stoke wit and humour.
I certainly won't go alone lest I find myself falling about in the Isles at the knockout lines stoke delivers.
Not for the weak of heart or the feeble minded .
What a lad you are stoke.
A living legend on these boards.
What do you think gunboat.?
Isnt stoke just the funniest thing ever to tread these boards.?
(Can't wait for the next embarrassing chapter.)

Good to see its having the desired effect John. Not obsessed are you 😆😆 but cannae stay off our board for long. Why not get it over with and just join us?
Was it better than your paramilitary rant then? That would be hard to top right enough 😕

[Greetin in Bed]

Still no answered Japan Arabs question Greeting pus? You've had plenty time to think about it

How can I answer a question if I'm not allowed to post charlie?
Answer that question charlie.
What was the question that's got you ah worked Up?

[stokearab]

How can I answer a question if I'm not allowed to post charlie?
Answer that question charlie.
What was the question that's got you ah worked Up?

Fun logic 😆