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Thread: o/t your dating profile

  1. #1

    o/t your dating profile

    many may be aware i have to see a shrink every 3 months

    my homework from this visit is she wants me to think what i would have put in a dating advert when i was 25-28 and what i would put in one know that i am 55

    i dont know here reasoning behind it yet but there were 9 of us at the meeting and we ll talked about it afterwards an it seems a good idea

    if you had to do it how would yours read ?

  2. #2
    Join Date
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    Quote Originally Posted by pboromag View Post
    many may be aware i have to see a shrink every 3 months

    my homework from this visit is she wants me to think what i would have put in a dating advert when i was 25-28 and what i would put in one know that i am 55

    i dont know here reasoning behind it yet but there were 9 of us at the meeting and we ll talked about it afterwards an it seems a good idea

    if you had to do it how would yours read ?
    Why not offer to take your shrink on a date Pboro and let her see what a man you still are.

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by pboromag View Post
    many may be aware i have to see a shrink every 3 months

    my homework from this visit is she wants me to think what i would have put in a dating advert when i was 25-28 and what i would put in one know that i am 55

    i dont know here reasoning behind it yet but there were 9 of us at the meeting and we ll talked about it afterwards an it seems a good idea

    if you had to do it how would yours read ?
    By "having to see one" do you mean "have to" because a magistrate/judge has ordered this?

    Please reply asap...

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by pboromag View Post
    many may be aware i have to see a shrink every 3 months

    my homework from this visit is she wants me to think what i would have put in a dating advert when i was 25-28 and what i would put in one know that i am 55

    i dont know here reasoning behind it yet but there were 9 of us at the meeting and we ll talked about it afterwards an it seems a good idea

    if you had to do it how would yours read ?
    By "having to see one" do you mean "have to" because a magistrate/judge has ordered this?

    Please reply asap...

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by ashingtoon62 View Post
    By "having to see one" do you mean "have to" because a magistrate/judge has ordered this?

    Please reply asap...
    ni i recieved injuries

  6. #6
    Join Date
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    Quote Originally Posted by pboromag View Post
    ni i recieved injuries
    That's tragic. How did they affect you so as to need a shrink?

  7. #7
    He was shot in the @rse by a gay sniper.

  8. #8
    Join Date
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    Trimdon station.
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    I'd just be totally honest, I'm a right stinking mess.
    I'm clean but regularly smell of skin back cheesy prawns on the regular occasions that my skin peels back a little bit with passing thoughts.
    I have piles but not bum busters.
    I have the @rse of a pole dancer but the gut of a greedy b@stard.

    After sitting on a cloth seat for a while there sometimes can be a smell of @rse left behind. Not terrible but a bit niffy, if you get my meaning.

    I'm a bit of a baldy git due to my receding hair of which I refuse to allow to grow like a Rab C Nesbitt hamlet cigar advert.
    I hate to wear jewelry of any description, which also includes a watch...although the watch is negotiable.

    Surprisingly I don't have sweaty feet but my bell end and @rse make up for that.
    I never have hanging nose hair because I use one of those nose thingies, like a fat pen up yer nose.

    Same with my lugs.

    I know it sounds bad but here's my better points, if you can call them better.
    I never have greasy hair.
    I'm clean shaven.
    I wear clean duds every day, believe it or not.
    I wear the same socks for a week due to my feet not stinking. Actually that's probably not a better point, if any are.

    I have all my own teeth except for two false ones and they're not too bad for my age which is 50.......ish.

    Oh, one more thing.
    I do tend to dribble a little bit after a wee which is probably why my bell end stinks like a cave full of dead crab,lobsters, rotten fish and a massive selection of rotten molluscs all festering in a thick pool of Limburger cheese.

    What's my chances?

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by ghostrider View Post
    I'd just be totally honest, I'm a right stinking mess.
    I'm clean but regularly smell of skin back cheesy prawns on the regular occasions that my skin peels back a little bit with passing thoughts.
    I have piles but not bum busters.
    I have the @rse of a pole dancer but the gut of a greedy b@stard.

    After sitting on a cloth seat for a while there sometimes can be a smell of @rse left behind. Not terrible but a bit niffy, if you get my meaning.

    I'm a bit of a baldy git due to my receding hair of which I refuse to allow to grow like a Rab C Nesbitt hamlet cigar advert.
    I hate to wear jewelry of any description, which also includes a watch...although the watch is negotiable.

    Surprisingly I don't have sweaty feet but my bell end and @rse make up for that.
    I never have hanging nose hair because I use one of those nose thingies, like a fat pen up yer nose.

    Same with my lugs.

    I know it sounds bad but here's my better points, if you can call them better.
    I never have greasy hair.
    I'm clean shaven.
    I wear clean duds every day, believe it or not.
    I wear the same socks for a week due to my feet not stinking. Actually that's probably not a better point, if any are.

    I have all my own teeth except for two false ones and they're not too bad for my age which is 50.......ish.

    Oh, one more thing.
    I do tend to dribble a little bit after a wee which is probably why my bell end stinks like a cave full of dead crab,lobsters, rotten fish and a massive selection of rotten molluscs all festering in a thick pool of Limburger cheese.

    What's my chances?
    Get yasel doon Pennywell, you'll have them lining up.

  10. #10
    I fart a lot after drinking beer or eating bread or pasta,I should go gluten free but at my age I can't be bothered.
    I have always managed to keep my gas to myself on a date however.

  11. #11
    Join Date
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kal View Post
    Get yasel doon Pennywell, you'll have them lining up.

  12. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by ex_pat_magpie View Post
    That's tragic. How did they affect you so as to need a shrink?
    flash backs
    night sweats
    insomnia
    irratating others
    guilt

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
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    Quote Originally Posted by pboromag View Post
    flash backs
    night sweats
    insomnia
    irratating others
    guilt
    No answer to that then.

  14. #14
    Quote Originally Posted by pboromag View Post
    flash backs
    night sweats
    insomnia
    irratating others
    guilt
    Nearly fell for it!!! and was really concerned,until you said "irritating others"
    Now I know your on a wind up!!

  15. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by ashingtoon62 View Post
    Nearly fell for it!!! and was really concerned,until you said "irritating others"
    Now I know your on a wind up!!
    He's obviously suffering from Amnesia as he forgot to add Little Man Syndrome to the list.

  16. #16
    Quote Originally Posted by ashingtoon62 View Post
    Nearly fell for it!!! and was really concerned,until you said "irritating others"
    Now I know your on a wind up!!
    i irritate others by not sleeping
    mood swings
    and anger issues
    it aint nice living with someone like me
    which is why i always say i have a great family and my mother in law is one in a million

  17. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by pboromag View Post
    i irritate others by not sleeping
    mood swings
    and anger issues
    it aint nice living with someone like me
    which is why i always say i have a great family and my mother in law is one in a million
    My mother in law is one in a million too............................but I think you mean it in a different way.

  18. #18
    Quote Originally Posted by toptoon View Post
    My mother in law is one in a million too............................but I think you mean it in a different way.
    nope she is great with me

    she is a great looker as well but so is the wife

    and i will admit i have had the odd thought though

    getting back to the dating add

    it is apparently to see how you think of yourself now compared to when you were younger
    and what you think attracts people to you

    when you were young it would probabaly be along the lines of how you thinked you look ie a young fit lad wishes to meet an attractive girl

    now it would be a succsfull buisness man is looking for a homely lady who loves long walks etc

    i have submitted mine to her

  19. #19
    Quote Originally Posted by toptoon View Post
    My mother in law is one in a million too............................but I think you mean it in a different way.
    I used to call my ex mother in law The Excocet. I could see her coming but could do phuck all about it.

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