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Thread: How I imagine the Emergency Board Meeting

  1. #1

    How I imagine the Emergency Board Meeting

    This is tongue and cheek, but if I was a fly on the wall the meeting would go something like this;

    Stephen Thompson- Good afternoon I have called this meeting to discuss Ray's position as we are well short of the target in getting back to the Premier League.
    Board Member- That was awful today, I mean the fans...
    ST- It is utterly ludicrous that me and my family have invested too much money in this club and we are stuck in this POXY LEAGUE! (spit flies out and hits a board member in the eye)
    BM- Erm I have taken the time to compile a list of potential candidates...
    ST- John McInroe, he played in defence when my dad was in charge. Good man, done a good job at Ross City and I believe he should be our next manager.
    BM- Er do you mean Jim McIntyre?
    ST- That's what I said. Great midfielder, how much to get him?
    BM- About the same as Ray.
    ST- Well that will do. Let's take a vote, who's in favour of Jim McIntosh?
    (Everyone puts their hand up)
    ST- Right that should keep those greetin pussed fans off my back for a bit. Where's David Southern?
    BM- He's indisposed on his laptop, trying to conclude a deal with xHamsters I believe.
    ST- Well he should be here prompt, or else he won't be getting a pay rise and his new Audi will have to go waiting!
    Rest of Board- Yes Stephen.
    ST- Anyway, I need to get down the Arch as I have an important meeting there. (sprays aftershave on his neck) We will reconvene Monday.
    ROB- Yes Stephen.
    ST- Who's the daddy of Dundee United?
    ROB- (sigh) You are Stephen.

  2. #2
    The accountant was called in on a conference call to work out the settlement due to Ray's team as none of the board could work the abacus damaged recently by the chairman trying to work oot the rent on Aberdonian flat's.

  3. #3
    Might need another wee trip over the pond to raise some cash

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by ahlltanyirhide View Post
    Might need another wee trip over the pond to raise some cash
    Can he go when hurricane Raymondo is at its height please?.

  5. #5
    Very funny.

    Who is actually on the board now except for ST???

    I tried googling Dundee United board of directors but all I got was Facebook page where they were issuing a vote of confidence in PH in 2011!

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by LSArab View Post
    Very funny.

    Who is actually on the board now except for ST???

    I tried googling Dundee United board of directors but all I got was Facebook page where they were issuing a vote of confidence in PH in 2011!
    I have no idea either. All I see are a bunch of suits sitting next to Thompson, shaking their heads and looking miserable on matchdays.
    Honestly it's like Groundhog Day watching DUFC these days.

  7. #7
    Join Date
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    Valencia Spain
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    I heard the latter part of the meeting went like this.................

    ST - Right ok thats all sorted then

    Board Member - What will the lads from ArabTrust think boss?

    ST - I don't know, they havn't come back in with the tea yet

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