They tell a story from the Europe team room at the 2008 Ryder Cup in Kentucky that’s so amusing you could hardly make it up. This was Valhalla Golf Club in Louisville and it was at that point in the week where the players were growing tired of captain Nick Faldo’s somewhat challenging personality. Television commentary has done much to uncover Faldo’s wittier side but without ever banishing his HIF [high irritation factor]. Four days of Faldo, and the players were weary.
Wasn’t it his second wife, Gill, who said that, socially, Nick was a 24-handicapper? Particularly tired of Faldo’s HIF, one of the players thought it time to act. “Something I’ve never understood, Nick, is how come you’ve never been knighted? You’ve won six majors, more than any European player, and you’ve been brilliant in the Ryder Cup.” And then the clincher, the observation that killed poor Faldo. “You got your MBE in 1988 while Monty [fellow player Colin Montgomerie] has an OBE. Monty hasn’t one major and yet he’s got a higher award than yours.” Not seeing the wind-up, Faldo felt nothing but the injustice of it all. “It’s true. Monty hasn’t got anything like my record and this honours thing has baffled me too. It just doesn’t make sense.”
Another of the players then joined the conversation. “Gentlemen,” he said, for he was rather well spoken, “I may be able to shed some light on this. As some of you may be aware, I have some well-informed connections that would know about these things and, Nick, it seems Her Majesty thinks you’re a prat.”
Every player in the room laughed uncontrollably, for they too wanted to get at their captain. So devastating had the put-down been that the players almost felt sorry for their captain. Perhaps the story made its way back to Clarence House in London over time because Faldo was eventually knighted for “services to golf”. He thought of changing the name on his golf bag to SNICK. Get it? Thankfully, common sense prevailed.