OT: Carillion

[i961pie]

Dropped a bit of a clanger there Sid. You started a political thread without mentioning Muslims, foreigners or Steptoe. It’s rich, white people pissing taxpayers money up the wall, people don’t care about that.

Must try harder.

It's ok Sid the cavalry as arrived to save the thread

[sidders]

"Election Night Special" is a Monty Python sketchparodying the coverage of United Kingdom general elections, specifically the 1970 general election, on the BBC by including hectic (and downright silly) actions by the media and a range of ridiculous candidates.
This sketch was featured in Episode 19 of the Monty Python's Flying Circus TV series, first broadcast on 3 November 1970. A somewhat different version of the sketch (leading into The Lumberjack Song) was also featured on the Monty Python Live at the Theatre Royal Drury Lanealbum.[1] A longer edit of the Drury Lane version also appeared on the promotional flexidisc Monty Python's Tiny Black Round Thing. The sketch also provides the basis for an item in Monty Python's Big Red Book in the form of a mock pamphlet for the Silly Party, which alongside characters from the original sketch, also names both Paul Fox and Ian MacNaughtonas Silly Party candidates.
Throughout the sketch, the linkman (John Cleese) and other commentators appear in a fixed sequence, either giving variations on their original statement or simply repeating it, as results are coming in from various constituencies. The election is mainly contested by two major parties, the Sensible Party and the Silly Party, though third-partycandidates (a candidate for the Slightly Silly Party and a Very Silly Independent candidate) make their appearance.
Candidates and their vote totals
The sketch focuses on election results from the following three constituencies:
Party Candidate Votes % Swing
Leicester

Silly Party Jethro Q. Walrustitty 32,108 51.2% Hold
Sensible Party Arthur J. Smith 30,612 48.8% Defeat
Total valid votes 62,720 100.0%
Luton

Silly Party Tarquin Fin-tim-lin-bin-whin-bim-lim-bus-stop-F'tang-F'tang-Olé-Biscuitbarrel 12,441 57.7% Gain
Sensible Party Alan Jones 9,112 42.3% Loss
Slightly Silly Party Kevin Phillips-Bong 0 0.0% Pathetic Defeat
Total valid votes 21,553 100.0%
Harpenden

Sensible Party James Walker 26,318 50.0% Gain
Silly Party Mr Elsie Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzip 26,317 50.0% Loss
Very Silly (Independent) Malcolm Peter Brian Telescope Adrian Umbrella Stand Jasper Wednesday (pops mouth twice) Stoatgobbler John Raw Vegetable (whinnying) Arthur Norman Michael (blows squeaker) Featherstone Smith (whistle) Northcott Edwards Harris (fires pistol, then 'whoop') Mason (chuff-chuff-chuff-chuff) Frampton Jones Fruitbat Gilbert (sings) 'We'll keep a welcome in the' (three shots) Williams If I Could Walk That Way Jenkin (squeaker) Tiger-drawers Pratt Thompson (sings) 'Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head' Darcy Carter (horn) *****cat (sings) 'Don't Sleep In The Subway' Barton Mainwaring (hoot, 'whoop') Smith 2 0.0% Spoiler

[LaxtonLad]

Another disadvantage of the "Potato masher" was it's size and shape, whereas several Mills bombs could be strung or attached to a soldiers blouse or webbing enabling him to carry many, the German grenade, because of the length of the stick, could only be stuck in his belt therefore carrying less. Also the Mills bomb could be rolled towards the enemy making it ideal for room to room clearing or rolled downstairs, it was harder too for a defender to see when flying through the air towards him.

As Tarkers might have said, the more rounded Mills bomb did have the embarrassing habit of rolling back downhill towards the thrower when thrown uphill, but I do think the thrower ought to have thought twice before lobbing his "pineapple" up there.

[sidders]

Going down like a lead balloon this thread Sid

However, I do note that it's had 1,228 views in just 24 hours which is pretty good going, i961

[The-Mac pie]

Kayleigh was ok but I thort their lead singer, Pish was a bit of a tw@t.

To late to say sorry

[i961pie]

However, I do note that it's had 1,228 views in just 24 hours which is pretty good going, i961

It was good Sid, but after viewing they thought sod that

[Ex_Southwell_Magpie]

Little known fact....but the German Potato Masher grenade had serious misfire problems during their assault on Russia due to the sub~zero temperatures......so a separate version was made just for the Russian campaign......boxes of these grenades, 15 to a box, were marked "cold" on the lid.

Why did the Germans use an English word on their Hand Grenade boxes? Would have made more sense to write it in German, no wonder they lost.

[dam617]

Dropped a bit of a clanger there Sid. You started a political thread without mentioning Muslims, foreigners or Steptoe. It’s rich, white people pissing taxpayers money up the wall, people don’t care about that.

Must try harder.

I quite like your avatar BFP- I'm a bit puzzled as to why an ex-President of the U.S has a Union flag on his sleeve though.

[tarquinbeech]

Why did the Germans use an English word on their Hand Grenade boxes? Would have made more sense to write it in German, no wonder they lost.

I was actually going to type the exact German word that they used.....but I was worried that my detractors might start hitting the "complaint" button again and Cher would send me back to Room 101....again!

Interestingly they also produced a smoke~grenade version of the Potato Masher which had a white line painted around the grenade end to avoid confusion......imagine the surprise of a German grenadier who lobbed the wrong one into our trenches during their attack, our lads dive for cover, then come stumbling out of the trenches choking on the smoke.....the Germans hastily retreat thinking we are counter~attacking

[sidders]

This is now looking like a serious crisis for the government. I'll make no bones about it:much of the political blame for Carillion (in the long term) belongs to Blair. His government developed the PFI model that was the prototype. At least Corbyn's version would be state-controlled and not permitting failing directors to feather a nest with a six-figure payout.
But May's lot have known this outfit was sailing down the swanny for 18 months and choose to give it even more contracts so that the banks would think 'Oh HMG believe in them so we can lend them even more'. That convinced nobody.
This is a topic worthy of debate. Tarquin's puny efforts on this fred show just how out of touch he is with the UK. He reacted just as nonchalantly to Grenfell. Laxative Lad and Prisoner i961 aren't capable of rational debate so I can't blame them for dipping out.
Okay, lads, back to you with your hand grenade b o l l o x.