Reply With QuoteTwo lions walk into a bar. the barman screams and is about to run for his life.
The first lion shouts, " oi, mate, we're just here for a few bevvies and we'll be on our way, chill out man."
The barman calms down a bit but is still wary as hell that they might attack him.
10 minutes later 2 hyenas walk in and the lions start to roar a little whilst eyeing up the hyenas.
The barman says, " do you know those two?" And the Lions say " yeah, they stole a buffalo from our family and this is why we came in here because they said they were going to come in and have a few pints and take us on in a fight."
The barman stands back and shouts, " woooo, woooo, wooo lads, don't be starting owt in here like, I'll end up having no pub left."
The lions look at him and shout, " you're lucky we haven't eaten you yet so what are you going on about."
The barman then gets on the phone and phones the zoo. He asks if the zoo has lost 2 hyenas and 2 lions.
The zoo call back and tell the barman that no wild animals have escaped from any zoo and he must be making it all up.
The barman takes video of the lions and the hyenas and sends it to the zoo keeper who now takes the barman seriously.
The zoo keeper sends out a team of wild animal experts with tranquiliser guns as well as armed police with real guns just in case things go wrong.
They swoop on the pub and surround it.
The police shout, " this is the police, we know there's two lions and two hyenas in there and if you don't all come out with your paws up, we will tranquilise you or shoot you dead if you give us any trouble."
One lion winks at a hyena and beckons him to go over and take the barman hostage.
The hyena does this and then the lion cracks a window in the pub and shouts out, " we have a hostage and we won't hesitate to tear him to pieces if any of you make one false move towards us."
The chief of police ponders what to do.
A little voice tugs at the police chief's coat.
"I can get them to surrender without a fight."
Below him was little Johnny and his little mouse called trigger.
He shows the mouse to the chief and says " this little fella will go in there and sort it all out in 1 minute."
The chief shouts, " go away kid, that's just a little mouse and they only scare Elephants."
" Not so" said the kid, " let me show you."
All the police shout, "let him try chief, what else have we got...plus the kid seems confident."
The chief allows the kid to let trigger the mouse loose through the pub letter box.
2 minutes later there's a massive commotion and then silence.
The window is smashed out into a bigger hole and trigger is thrown out all mangled up and stone dead on the path.
The chief looks at the lad and says, " I thought you said your mouse would sort it all out."
The lad says, " well who's the daft tunt, eh...eh...eh?.....you thick git thinking a mouse could sort that lot out."
The chief got so mad that he decided to throw the kid into the pub through the broken window.
"I'll show you, you little git" said the chief.
1 Minute later there was roars and laughing and music playing.
The kid had told the story about his mouse taking them all on and the lions and hyenas fell about laughing so much that they all wore themselves out and fell asleep.
The kid walks out and says, " you can cuff them all now, they're all asleep."
How did you manage to do all of this?" said the chief.
The kids says " because that was my plan. My mouse was dying and wanted to go out in a blaze of glory. He's a hero is trigger and I want him buried a hero."
"But how did you know I'd get mad and throw you through the window" said the chief.
" I didn't" said the kid. " I just knew you'd get mad in this story. It was ghostrider that had me thrown through the window because he's just made this all up on the fly."
" Ahhhhhh, ghostrider" says the chief.
"Well he''s certainly saved the day....but why kill the mouse?"
"The mouse isn't dead" says the kid. " Watch this."
Just then the kid picks up the mouse and gently blows on it and the mouse comes back to life.
The chief and all the police shout " hip hip hooray, triggers back to life today" not realising they'd made a little rhyme but weren't bothered because they were just happy trigger was alive and nobody was hurt in this story.
I get all the credit because I decided to ensure nobody was killed in the making of this utter nonsense.
Originally Posted by waalsendmick
