“Strictly speaking, there is no me, because all is emptiness. I am empty, I am non-existent. All is bliss.”

How to make incredibly hard work of beating an incredibly poor team – by Keith Curle.

So an extremely negative team selection and tactical approach led to us having a ton of possession, but also led to players falling over each other’s feet in midfield and left Nadesan hopelessly isolated fighting with three or four defenders by himself. In the entire first half we failed to create a single goalscoring opportunity or have any meaningful efforts towards goal. Port Vale, on the other hand, despite having obviously inferior players, didn’t forget it’s all about scoring goals and managed to actually attack on the couple of occasions they managed to retain the ball. Thanks to some numb defending and typically poor goalkeeping we found ourselves losing at half time – and it could’ve been worse if Port Vale had been even slightly better.

Predictably, when we brought the obvious extra striker on we took (easily) our best player of the first half (Campbell Ryce) off. For me, it could (and should) have been any of our other four midfielders making way. And it was no real surprise the winning goal followed the removal of Grainger from left midfield and the inclusion of a more forward minded player. But all in all, even with poor decisions being made, the fact we actually started attacking meant we won the game – despite Curle, not because of him. If we’d attacked from the start (like we did against Luton last week) it would have been a comfortable afternoon for everyone.

Bonham – 3 – Decent command of his box but some incredibly lax moments and an awful effort for the goal we conceded. Whoever gets the manager’s job needs to make signing a professional standard goalkeeper a top priority – Curle has failed to sign one in almost four years.

Liddle – 4 – Mixed bag today. Some solid defending and decent use of the football but some moments where he evaporated and ended up sitting on his behind looking confused. Shame Miller wasn’t given another run out, we’re stuck with Liddle next season regardless.

Parkes – 5 – Some excellent use of the ball but was caught dreaming about pepperoni and mushroom pizza for the goal. The season is almost over Tom, your pies await you. Maybe a new manager will have more success keeping his mind on the job.

Ellis – 6 – Suddenly Ellis can pass a football, what witchcraft is at work here? Maybe he always could, and when he’s actually been given a fair opportunity and a run in the team he’s settling into a groove. I’m not sure if he’s under contract or not but he really needs to stay at the club for next season.

Hill – 6 – Had Pope in his pocket all afternoon although some of his use of the football was questionable today. I can’t not worry about his ability to make it through another pre-season even if he does stay at the club. Curle’s short term approach to solving our central defensive issue has left whoever inherits his squad with a difficult task of building our defence for next term.

Joyce – 7* - Really excellent job turning over possession, making himself available for the ball, keeping things simple and generally holding the side together in central midfield. I’d be churlish if I pointed out the quality of the opposition and it’s a real shame Joyce hasn’t been delivering these performances week in / week out.

Jones – 5 – Watching Jones closely today I finally understand the reason for the decline in his form since his injury – it’s fear. Jones is now scared to commit to the tackle and when in possession afraid of being tackled – maybe even on a subconscious level. The old Jones used to play without fear, the current Jones is a stunted version of himself – players can get past him and round him more easily as he’s not 100% committed to stopping them and when he has the ball he’s looking to get rid of it too quickly and is too conscious of the imminent tackle.

Devitt – 3 – Finally an assist! It’s been a painful wait, watching Devitt continually fluff his lines in central midfield and struggle to have any real influence. Overall his contribution was very poor again, you have to believe JCR would’ve been effective if he’d been allowed to remain on the pitch.

Campbell-Ryce – 7 – The best player on the field in the first half by a country mile. Winning possession frequently, passing the ball with verve and purpose, beating players, trying to drive the team forward. Always looking to be creative, and although the rest of our midfield was hiding behind him he rarely lost possession. With an extra player to aim for in the box the game was set up for JCR in the second half. However he was bizarrely substituted. Maybe he injured himself at half-time by splashing tea on his boots or getting some orange juice on his chin.

Grainger – 0 – In midfield, please enough of this. Absolutely no intelligence at all on the ball and woeful technique. Tackling, poor. Heading, poor. Throw-ins, terrible. Positional awareness, laughable. He’s basically on the pitch in case we get a dead-ball he might be able to exploit, however his all round contribution sucks badger eggs. His days as a professional should be over, sadly for him. His name is already on a shirt at Barrow.

Nadesan – 6 – Nightmarish first half, playing as a lone striker with his back to goal is simply not his game. He’s a penalty box striker who should be playing off the shoulder of the last defender – if you get the ball to his feet down the channels or in the penalty area he’ll get you goals – and so it proved. When he finally had some support upfront he looked twice the player, it does help when you have a little assistance in the fight against three or four defenders. Took advantage of a deflected cross for his goal, but what an excellent piece of technique his finish was. In football you make your own luck and the fact we had more players in the box won him the space he needed to make the opportunity count. When playing in a side with more technically able team mates with the ability to play to his strengths, Nadesan will be a fantastic player – it’s a shame this won’t be with us.

Subs:

Bennett – 6 – Good battling effort and helped make the space which won us the game. Unfortunate not to start the game.

Hope – 5 – Credit to him for getting actually getting in an attacking position for the goal and for making it count. However, too many brainless moments, pointless fouls and lost possession too many times. The Port Vale lad will be disappointed he let Hope provoke him, but that’s Hope for you, he’s always going to draw the odd red card as he’s such an annoying little sh_t – that’s his game.

O’Sullivan – 2 – Consistently has not been up to standard, if he leaves in the summer it will be no loss as he has contributed very little this season.