Poster of the Year

[1959_60]

Good Evening.

I should like to nominate myself for Clarets-Mad Poster of the Year.

And I think you will all agree that this plaudit is richly deserved.

As you know, I am a Burnley Uber-fan and I am in my 56th year of supporting the Clarets. I even once played tennis against Peter Noble.

But my skillset goes far beyond football.

I am the voice of sanity on current affairs, and I often put people right on issues such as Brexit and Donald Trump. People seek out my views on these and other issues in order to see a clearer picture.

I post with wit and good humour (see the rib-tickler of a joke at the end of this post in order to judge me on this) and I often play the role of the agony aunt to give posters good, common sense advice.

I do not post mundane subjects but I do contribute to these type of threads occasionally. For instance, I had chicken chips peas and salad for my tea.

In the absence of any more nominees for this honour, I look forward to the details of my presentation ceremony and no doubt you will all club together to present me with something fitting.

I thank you all.

I have trained my big rabbits to walk backwards in unison.

I have a receding hare-line.

[The Bedlington Terrier]

Words don't often fail me, but on this occasion...

[CaspertheClaret]

What animals did you train when you were in other unions?

[1959_60]

I am trying to get my giant pandas to Unite Casper.

[CaspertheClaret]

The problem will probably be with the male one. I bet he eats shoots and leaves!

[1959_60]

Wahey!

He's certainly not panda-ring to her requirements at the moment.

[CaspertheClaret]

And that is why you will never be poster of the year!

[1959_60]

I'm a shoe-in Casper.

Look, I am the only nominee, and the deadline is only five minutes away.

[CaspertheClaret]

Shoe in my arse - hush puppy!

I nominate that new bloke - the argumentative one.

[1959_60]

I must admit that if it was a straight run off between me and him it could be close...