I have always thought of Nottingham as an inferior sort of Sheffield, its somewhere near there. I have been there but havent driven, ive looked it up on google maps and it is. Bless the road heading south though.
Looking on the bright side, thank god it was only 5. It could be worse.

Do you have any ruins in Nottingham apart from county? Whats your favourite dish?, is it humble pie.? Theres that word pie, it must be.
Having worked in the medical field i am having as much enjoyment from you plight as i would standing at an autopsy. Please please please take that as a compliment.
A way of trying to help is to suggest your players have a check up, who knows whats wrong. A blister, especially around the nether regions is not good. Maybe its politics. If your players are socialists, losing, and being a loser is guaranteed.

Hope this helps. By the way, this board is called footymad. Roger, a superior sort from down south (Cambridge).