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Thread: Dying,Passing Away, Carking it, Kick the Bucket

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    15,027

    Dying,Passing Away, Carking it, Kick the Bucket

    The passing of Doug got me thinking of many conversations I have had over the years to Mourn,

    I struggle with the word mourn, I reckon you'd mourn the death of a child, or family member or close friend under the age of 70,pet run over by a car, or a selfless killing but when you start to push 100 surely the word mourn could be substituted.

    The one given thing in this life is that you will die, nothing somber about it, just a fact. They're will always be a touch of sadness felt by somebody when a person dies (well you would like to think so) but personally I have had only a couple of family/friends pass at an older age, dropped a tear, but then celebrated the good times.

    Thoughts?????

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
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    7,062
    Interesting, Yubbs ...

    Yes, I think you are absolutely right that death is part of the natural cycle of life, and certainly in some cases when a very sick elderly person passes away, it can be viewed as blessing for that person to be released from the pain of their physical body.

    But equally, I think that despite age and health, we can very much mourn a person's passing, mainly because we miss them being in our lives. Losing a parent who has been the 'rock' of the family, a sibling who has always been in the bereaved's life, or a spouse to whom one has been married to for 50 years can leave a massive hole. You hear of widows/widowers in reasonably good health who pass away suddenly and unexpectedly soon after their spouse has died. I believe you can die of a broken heart - it happened to an elderly relative of mine shortly after the wife he had adored for 60 years passed away ...

    Celebrating a person's life and cherishing the memories is wonderful, but I think when you lose someone who is a huge part of your life, getting to that point can take time, and for many involves a substantial period of mourning ... No rules ...

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
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    13,091
    Interesting view Yubbs and I always wished I had such a positive outlook. I really struggle with the subject if I'm honest and I'm a bit of a weak person when it comes to loved ones passing away knowing you won't see them again.
    Last edited by bongosdad; 23-10-2018 at 11:41 PM.

  4. #4
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    Mar 2006
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    yeah understand; even with our 3 perspectives you get a glimpse on how everyone grieves differently, due to life experiences

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
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    It's not weak to be human, Bongo.

    A friend of mine's late father once said that he believed we die twice. Once when our physical body dies, and again when the last person who remembers us, passes on. He wasn't the spiritual sort, but I like that thought - it kind of helps feel like a person is still with us as long as we hold them in our memories. Can be really comforting at times, lovely to remember happy memories, and remember good advice passed down that often only comes with age and experience ...

    I think a nice thought to hold onto when we are missing a loved one ...
    Last edited by MissWinnie; 06-11-2018 at 02:31 AM.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2012
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    5,417
    We do not remember coming into this world chances are we wont remember leaving it. Life is very short, i cannot help thinking there has to be more to this story?

  7. #7
    Death comes to us all for sure and it's a great point about dying twice - I never considered that before now. I used to go to church until the Manchester bombing, my daughter was 8 at the time and the thought that a Dad no longer had his little girl to say goodnight to and hold, upset me greatly. I decided that I couldn't give myself to a higher power that made or allowed that to happen, in the same way as what the cruelness of dementia does to so many people.

    I am quite a spiritual person though, I see the world as a kind of equilibrium and you'll get out what you put in. One mourns the fact that the person is no longer there, some of us are stoic in public and others are blubbers - nothing wrong in either, people should be who they are.

    Peace all.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    5,417
    I lost my wife when we were both 33 Y/O, i was convinced when she died she would make contact with me in some way but nothing which is disapointing to say the least!

    Its all about the mind and my best hope is that we all meet up in a different reality maybe non physical but with concious awareness!

    Well one thing is for sure, we are all going down the plug hole one day....

  9. #9
    Amen to that TD!

  10. #10
    My Mum just passed away suddenly last week, first passing of a close relative below grandparents - Winnie your point about memories is so spot on, yesterday I took a walk where we used to go when she'd come and visit. I could see her everywhere in my minds eye, peaceful, happy and connected to her surroundings. It's been 5 days now since it happened, I've had every emotion you can name in that short time but I'm doing ok considering.

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