OT--Owd Fart

[Exiletyke]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gym81fY460

[SBRed48]

Thank you Ziles.

That's my kind of humour.

[Exiletyke]

As usual SB you are welcome
Hope your foot is healed
I've got to wear my boot for another 4 weeks & it's getting me down [hope it doesn't show]

[SBRed48]

As usual SB you are welcome
Hope your foot is healed
I've got to wear my boot for another 4 weeks & it's getting me down [hope it doesn't show]

Am 90% . Gerrin like Woodrow.

Ad targetted today to return burra a dunt feel safe driving and then mi foot freezin up set two hours plus in cowd artside and then driving back ageean safely. The'll still count me being theear evvin a Seearzan Ticket.
Typical glory fan will return for the Portsmouth six pointer.

[upthecolliers]

I evvto apologise to the residents of Sowerby Bridge for causing a micro climate change in the area today.

Az parta mi gradual weight loss programme following a pre diabetes diagnosis av bin eyting a few ooam made stir fries recently. A tukka short cut fo teear yisterdi and gorra packet of Tesco Veg n Beansprout Stir Fry which I ed wi strips a chicken. BEWARE ! av nivva ed such a prolonged bout a farting in my life, reyt frum gerrin up. Cuddant stop missen. A wo sent arta 'arse fo stinking it art burra wo releasing methane into air ivvery few steps. It went cloudy minutes later and pissed it darn. Am sure aar caused it.
Closest av been to that wo sprouts and Christmas cake a cuppala years back. Mi gut ez settled nar after sum Weetabix fo mi dinner.

SB with you now being a conecer in the art of farting (among other things ofcourse) and also what to eight and what not to eight in blowing art the wind in your lower orifice I must bring to your attention a new crisp as just come onto the market under the name of Brussels Sprout flavour in your opinion would you think this crisp will bring about an above normal passing of wind just like the real macoy, I have thought about writing to Gary Linecer about this as they are made by Walkers but he just waffles on.

[SBRed48]

Brussel Spraart Crisps ! Summats not reyt at that crisp factory.

A like a well cooked spraart missen. It's when tha teks in any kind a green veg brassiker like cabbage or spraartz thi gut generates a sulphury methane type gas which ezzto be released or it will cause bloating and possible damage to the wall of the lower gut. We share that process with cows. Farmers sumtimes evvto get vets in to bloated cows and make an insertion to release the gasses. A can see the time in a week or two wi these crisps that corridors in NHS hospitals will ev corridors full of bloated fooak and doctors will evvto go down the line of trolleys inserting tubes to release the gasses.

SB--- Fart Consultant

[upthecolliers]

Thanks for your expert analysis SB I knew you would no.
So if when watching match of the day we should not get alarmed if we see Gary Linecer with a big tub it's only wind.

[Romared]

Tha carnt beeut a crunchin crisp Appul Tart !!

[SBRed48]

Tha carnt beeut a crunchin crisp Appul Tart !!

Old medieval saying--

Cook well the tart,
Or thou dust fart.

--Referring to the tendency of undercooked fruit to cause bloatedness and billiousness.

[Romared]

Thanose sum clogiron SB , esta ivva thowt abart beein a Consultunt ? Tha cuddev lettas behind thi name SB S P F with Hons