Abuse

[picasso]

On the back of these fan incidents recently with Sterling and Alli, I find it really sad that Tony McAndrew and Kevin MacDonald have been allegedly at it too with regard to youth team players. If that proves to be the case then they should hang their heads in shame and get out of our club. Negative and abusive comments never inspire and only belittle. I was also saddened to see Paul Merson support MacDonald on last night Debate saying that players should toughen up like in the good old days. B*****ks.

[stateside]

A fair few academy players have come out in support of Mac. Seems these boys were a little frail and want to blame their failures on these coaches c

[TrianonDave]

There is a huge difference between mindless cowards throwing bananas at oposition players forgetting that most of their own team are black and sadistic bullies who pray in the real vunerable by physically or ***ually abusing them. Fair play to Deli for not reacting and just gesturing 2-0.

I was physically abused by my games teacher who would love to place his hands down your shorts before caining you supposidly checking you were wearing underwear, yer right. As a young vunerable lad you said nothing, just took your punishment!

#So dont compare the 2 issues here.

Im not scarred by what happened to me but if he was alive today i would gladly call round and smash his face in....i cant he is dead and like so many others will take their perversion to the grave.

[bongosdad]

That's awful Dave. There are different forms of abuse and every one is unexpable.
However each accusation needs to be judged on individual merit because some are false and some are true.

[picasso]

Clearly what you went through Dave is odious in the extreme and has no place in society let alone football. However, abuse in all its forms, be it ***ual, physical or verbal can have devastating effects and as a teacher I have seen the results of all three.

I don’t see why football feels that it is different to other walks of life where people find it acceptable to yell obscenities at others or make disparaging remarks in an attempt to make people feel worthless (as appears to be the case with McAndrew and MacDonald). That’s called bullying and would quite rightly earn you the sack in most professions. Why should football be different? Because footballers should be man enough to accept it? No, people play football because they love the sport and perhaps want to reach the top. They don’t do it to receive hatred and abuse from fans let alone their own coaches.

Mental health in football seems to be a hot topic at the moment. Stan Collymore has been banging on about it for years. This is because footballers are not ‘real men’. They are human just like us.

[westcountryvillain]

Great post Picasso, it never ceases to amaze me how as a society we continue to spout the "man-up" BS as if it's a case of just flicking a switch in the mind. With knowledge comes responsibility and anyone in a position of power has to be accountable for their actions - I'm pleased the club appears to have acted quickly on this but am seething that the old regime did not.

TD - appalling what you've endured mate.

[samhubball]

You have my sympathy dave - sounds like a typical PE teacher to me!

I'm going to be a bit controversial here with my opinion... a lot of managers do the good cop/bad cop thing with their 2nd in command. Some players need more stick than carrot. And I think sport is the only place it is ok to be "abusive" in a sense as a manager or coach because it is a lot of passion needed to succeed in the role as a footballer and manager.

Don't get me wrong, no one should be belittled BUT sometimes a player needs to be subbed off at 15 minutes, given at obvious *******ing by the manager in order for him to realise that his performance was **** and it won't be tolerated however high the players own opinion of himself is.

Sometimes it works... Alan Hutton

Sometimes it doesn't... Ross Mac

[MissWinnie]

I'm really sorry that you were put through that awful experience, Dave. I feel angry that you, or any other child, has ever had to experience that. A total abuse of power …

With regards to Kevin MacDonald, I don't know much about what has supposed to have happened, but understand it is being investigated, so don't really want to say too much at this stage, unless proven. As Bongo says, each allegation needs to be considered on merit - and to be falsely accused is just as horrific as being on the receiving end of such abuse.

However, more generally, I fully agree with Picasso that verbal abuse is every bit as bad as physical abuse, in terms of the mental scars they can leave a person. Is anything that important that we feel that it is necessary to do that to someone? We all have to accept criticism sometimes, but there's a world of difference between that and totally belittling or humiliating someone.

Picasso, I think the answer to your question re why we deem it okay to abuse footballers, is probably money? Fans perhaps comparing their struggle to pay for a season ticket/match ticket with players swanning off in their luxury cars to their luxury houses. They live in such different worlds, I wonder if it de-humanises them to us to a certain extent? Of course, money can provide a footballer with protection and cushioning from the struggles of day to day life - but only to an extent. If a footballer's leg is kicked enough - it will eventually break. The same with his mind. That's why I detest booing at matches - I hate seeing (especially) young players shoulders dropping - I have no idea how people think that abuse will actually make a person play better next time.

Westy, I absolutely hate that phrase "man up". No-one has ever told me to "woman up". Why should it be any different for a man who is struggling? It is little surprise that 75% of suicides in UK are committed by men.

[TrianonDave]

Thanks for the kind words guys, nice to know people care!

Im sure my story is very similar to many people who grew up in the 60''s but i tell you what, my story is nothing to what my Dad went through, i will leave it to your imagination but he was orphaned and brought up from the age of 2 in a renowned Monestry run by Monks in Ireland....awful just awful.

When i hear about this subject it makes me feel sick. Anyone abusing their position in a ***ual or just physical manner needs Castrating.
If Macdonald has done wrong he needs exposing and bringing to book.
Bullying is something i detest and have stood up to a few in my life.

Keep the faith, collectively we will sesrch them out and bring them down.

[stateside]

My post was written before I realized that 3 more players have come forward. Now it is not looking good for those two. If guilty they need to walk away from our club.

Sorry to read about what you went through Dave.