I swore I'd never post personal stuff on here again but..

[Saxo1man41]

I've no one else to talk to about it.

Myself and a French girl may have fallen for each other. I don't want to post too much detail, except to say she is only 18 years old, whereas I'm 43. She has persued me and I'm in turmoil. She is beautiful.

Is there any chance of this going anywhere successfully, or should I let it go?

Please take this seriously and give genuine advice.. Don't use it as a stick to beat me with.

[Saxo1man41]

To be honest, my mind is on let it go. Be flattered, and let it go.

[robinrover]

Ok saxo
I wouldn't be asking what I see in an 18 year old but what a 18 year old wants in a 43 year old?
If it's fun then great no problem but if it's to have a relationship and eventually settle down,I would be asking some questions
25 years is quite a bit
Most 18-21 year olds are living the party life,most 40 year olds are settling down
Now this isn't all of course but I would certainly ask a few questions first saxo.

[Saxo1man41]

Ok saxo
I wouldn't be asking what I see in an 18 year old but what a 18 year old wants in a 43 year old?
If it's fun then great no problem but if it's to have a relationship and eventually settle down,I would be asking some questions
25 years is quite a bit
Most 18-21 year olds are living the party life,most 40 year olds are settling down
Now this isn't all of course but I would certainly ask a few questions first saxo.

Its not even a short term crush from her perspective. I've been told of her interest since she was 14(!), but never took it seriously. Just though the lads in the village were on the wind up. It's now becoming very apparant they weren't!

I'm 95% I'm gonna let this go. Its not worth the hassle.

[Saxo1man41]

She has started seeing a 25 year old from the village, but is making it clear with me with messages that its purely 'physical' and she'd rather be with me.

My last message to her was I think its right she persues that as a relationship, rather than one with myself.

This has upset her and she replied that I have a 'heart of stone'.

[champs95]

I've no one else to talk to about it.

Myself and a French girl may have fallen for each other. I don't want to post too much detail, except to say she is only 18 years old, whereas I'm 43. She has persued me and I'm in turmoil. She is beautiful.

Is there any chance of this going anywhere successfully, or should I let it go?

Please take this seriously and give genuine advice.. Don't use it as a stick to beat me with.

In one hand I want to say good luck and just go with the flow. Life is way too short to be questioning everything. If she makes you happy, and vice versa then go for it.
Me, I'm 42 .....we are similar in age.
As a friend I am going to give some advice which is impartial.
Be wary. Society is less than accepting of such relationships. No, that should no be an issue, but be realistic.
One slight mistake or misjudgement and you could be in trouble. Please make sure she is 18, take absolutely no chances on that.
Leave no question marks over anything. And I am simply thinking of you in all of that.
My reason is, as a 42 year old guy, you have a lot to lose.
She as an 18 year old girl has much less risk.

If all is good, and above board, I would simply have some fun, and see where things go. Older men are attractive to younger girls, in some circumstances. So you wont be the first or last on that score. But I knw I would want to have something stable if I met someone now? And I feel an 18 year old girl wont want that heavy relationship.

There is no right or wrong, only you yourself know that. But make sure you are protecting yourself. I worry you are slightly leaving yourself open here.

Hope your ok?

That sounded a bit sad at the end.....being honest I wish I had the problem of younger attractive girls beig interested in me! I'm single and invisible to all women! 42 and my days are over

[Saxo1man41]

In one hand I want to say good luck and just go with the flow. Life is way too short to be questioning everything. If she makes you happy, and vice versa then go for it.
Me, I'm 42 .....we are similar in age.
As a friend I am going to give some advice which is impartial.
Be wary. Society is less than accepting of such relationships. No, that should no be an issue, but be realistic.
One slight mistake or misjudgement and you could be in trouble. Please make sure she is 18, take absolutely no chances on that.
Leave no question marks over anything. And I am simply thinking of you in all of that.
My reason is, as a 42 year old guy, you have a lot to lose.
She as an 18 year old girl has much less risk.

If all is good, and above board, I would simply have some fun, and see where things go. Older men are attractive to younger girls, in some circumstances. So you wont be the first or last on that score. But I knw I would want to have something stable if I met someone now? And I feel an 18 year old girl wont want that heavy relationship.

There is no right or wrong, only you yourself know that. But make sure you are protecting yourself. I worry you are slightly leaving yourself open here.

Hope your ok?

That sounded a bit sad at the end.....being honest I wish I had the problem of younger attractive girls beig interested in me! I'm single and invisible to all women! 42 and my days are over

My last message to her as I've posted above is our last contact 2 days ago. I think it will be left there. As you say champs, she has little to lose in all this.. I only fear hurt for myself.

[Saxo1man41]

By the I'm 100% sure she is 18.. I've known her most of her life.

[champs95]

By the I'm 100% sure she is 18.. I've known her most of her life.

Don't get me wrong mate, I can tell you are not doing anything wrong. I am purley giving advice based on if it was a close mate asking me my opinion. As my mate, I don't want anything bad to happen to you. So always protect yourself first.

I tend to ....at this point of my life go with one simple rule ....does it feel right? If its a simple no....you have already answered this yourself.
If its a yes ....don't question it too much, as you doubt yourself and can talk yourself out of it. Just go for it.

Your first hunch, your first mindset is the one to stick with.

[Saxo1man41]

Don't get me wrong mate, I can tell you are not doing anything wrong. I am purley giving advice based on if it was a close mate asking me my opinion. As my mate, I don't want anything bad to happen to you. So always protect yourself first.

I tend to ....at this point of my life go with one simple rule ....does it feel right? If its a simple no....you have already answered this yourself.
If its a yes ....don't question it too much, as you doubt yourself and can talk yourself out of it. Just go for it.

Your first hunch, your first mindset is the one to stick with.

My decision is made.. Im not gonna lie, it's a painful one.. I'm not someone flooded with offers of love in my life.. But I just feel this one is wrong, and could potentially upset a lot of people, not least her family and my own.