A note for Griff

[Psaw]

Inspired by your love of fantasy i am planning several volumes in mind numbing detail of the following adventure, i am giving a you a precis for your approval.

Its in the first person. I am kidnapped by Aliens. This event in itself will take 500 pages. I am transported to the alien planet whereby i breathe alien air and it gives me super powers. In revenge i turn the aliens into Carlisle players and return to earth.
I turn Cambridge players into UNIVERSE class players, not world class, who only ask for a tenner a week, and will never want to leave. They dont age and win every game for eternity.

I then put Vlad Putin on an airliner and shoot it down. I bring him back to life then rent him a flat in the capitals of Chechnya and the Ukraine with a neon sign above saying PUTIN LIVES HERE, then poison him.

I make the Germ Corbyn stand up during questions and apologise for lying for all of his life, plotting to overthrow democracy, and replacing it with a soviet dictatorship. Then he can live in a hovel in Venezuala and scramble around in bins for food.

Then i will challenge GOD to a game of poker, win, and create a new universe. In this universe i am 18 again, and every beauty that has ever lived will find me devastatingly attractive, and i can hack away all day and night.

What do you think?, i have tried to keep it realistic, maybe i should put more fantasy in.

Binky. p.s, i am planning 60 volumes of miniature type, and this is only my first work.

[griff]

Well there’s no denying that it deserves to be in the fiction section Frank, so well done. I mean, the idea of women fancying you is a master stroke - I didn’t see that plot twist coming. You may have some libel issues so I’d consult a good lawyer; Corbyn has only lied for PART of his life. God isn’t known for his sense of humour and is known to be a bad loser so I’d take out insurance in case of ending up as a pillar of salt, or, in Putin’s case, as part of the new M6 works between Birmingham and Warrington.

No need to thank me.

[Psaw]

Thankyou Griff for your kind thoughts. As its my universe i can do as i want. I will create an FA cup final whereby i score the winning goal for Cambridge in the last minute against Carlisle. As you know, players get buried under bodies in that situation in celebration.
I will get buried by naked bodies that belong to an 18 year old Debbie Harry, Madonna, Gynneth Paltrow, Elizabeth Taylor, and Annabel Woodrow, who you wont know.

The ref wont book me, and just say that he will wait till we are finished. When we are finished they bring on that big mop they use in basketball matches to mop the mess up.

I thought youd like this sort of thing, im getting to like it, im not constrained by reality. After all, on the pitch i will have the usual organ, my mouth two hands, and two feet, that means six birds at once.

Mr Orgasmo.

[griff]

I’ve had better.