Since We Are A Little Light ,On Game Time,...Silly Jokes anyone??

[The Bedlington Terrier]

We spend our lives like hamsters on a wheel: we get up by the clock, eat and sleep by the clock, get up again unforgivably woken by a clock, go to work - and then we retire. And what do they give us to retire with? A fhooking clock.

[1959_60]

HUSBAND TO WIFE "You remind me of the sea.

WIFE TO HUSBAND "You mean that I'm wild and restless?

HUSBAND TO WIFE "No, you make me sick"

[Altobelli]

One sentence you should never say in a crowded gay bar when trying to make it to the bar, "Can I push your stool in" ?

[Altobelli]

[Norder]

.

yesterday, I bought a whirlpool for my bath....then last night, I lost 3 of my best ships

[Altobelli]

What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?

Beat it. We’re closed.

[The Bedlington Terrier]

A woman walks past a pet shop with a sign reading 'For sale, clitoris licking frog'.

Curiosity gets the better of her and she walks back and enters the store, the shopkeeper say's 'Bonjour Madame'.

[1959_60]

I was walking in the precinct on my way to Burnley market.

There was a man begging on the floor. At his side he had a notice saying, "Please help me. I am a veteran of the Falklands war and I am now penniless"

I thought of what service he had given and felt sad at his plight so I put a couple of quid in his box.

He said, "Gracias"

[Norder]

.

You, do you know the Law....?
What law ?
The Law of EL...that Head of many Pantheons.
...and represented by who ?
by ELders - or the ELite
and who gave them this Power ?
Well....they were ELected - in ELections
So, is it they who have control ?
Well...they allow the flow, the ELectricity
and from where does it flow ?
From the Banks of the river - then onto the current and into the sea - but thats another story.

[CaspertheClaret]

I bought a whole salmon from Tescos the other day - it was huge.

When I got it home, there were no insides or bones Gutted!