My mate ( a big lad ) changed his seat today , and went in the disabled Stand ( he has health issues ) he was sat next to a very large lady , who was constantly apple tarting , blocking people's view and swearing ,
Well it wasn't me!
My mother in law ez that many folds of fat she uses a book mark to help her evva p1ss.
Bernard Manning 1976
I dread to think how that particular gentleman managed to empty his bladder. Some kind of string and pulley system or a vertically challenged assistant perhaps?
The dunt mekkem like Bernard ennimooar.
He cud tella jooak that lad. Ed me in stitches.
Old Barnsley couple go self catering in Spain. Unpacking Mary sharts "Hey Albert, av forgotten to pack the Bisto. Knock on that dooar opposite and see if thev gorrenni".
Albert guz ovva and when dooar oppens he sez "Asta enni Bisto ?". Man sez to his wife, "Thuzza Spanish bloke at the door, can't understand him".
Bernard Manning
Overheard in Poundstretcher Barnsley yesterday...
Woman 1 : Worrav a come inear fo?
Woman 2 : Aaah dunt no
Woman 1 : Aaah dunt eethu
Them 70s comedians were class. Bernard Manning, George Roper, Charlie Williams, Jim Bowen, Ken Goodwin, Frank Carson and many more. They could also tell clean jokes on the 'Comedians' show and still make me pyss missen.