O/T Friday neet joke thread (Please do not read if easily offended) 18+

[loyalmiller]

What you call a hippy’s wife?

Mississippi

[Brin]

Got thrown out a Strip club last night for using monopoly money........ I don’t see why I should pay real money to see fake boobs.

[CAMiller]

What you call a hippy’s wife?

Mississippi

Typical. Brin keeps it clean and then you have to come up with something that's offensive to women and to Southern US residents

[Back of the net]

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

Lick-a-lotta-puss.

[PokerMillersSwinton]

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

Lick-a-lotta-puss.

lmfao

[howdydoo]

I went to a faith healer last night and he was ****ing ****, even the bloke in the wheelchair got up and walked out!

[howdydoo]

If anything good comes out of global warming it will be that in a few years Dancing on Ice won't be on the ****in TV...

[howdydoo]

Not sure this one is a joke (it really isn’t) but worthy of a comment:

To anyone who has watched the Madeliene Mcann series.


Well done!!!!!!

you have now spent more time watching her…
than her parents did.

[CTMilller]

A Yorkshireman and his wife were walking past a swan-ky new restaurant. "Did you smell that food?" she asked. "It's absolutely incredible!"

Being a kind-hearted feller he thought, "What the hell, I'll treat her!"

So they walked past it again.

[rileyev.the.third]

English man, Irish man, Scottish man and Welsh Man are captured by the Taliban.

Muhammad informs them they are all to be executed by firing squad but gives them all one last request.

Paddy says, I want 100 river dancers all dancing to the Irish Rover just before you shoot me. Mo says no probs.

Taffy says. I want 100 male voice choir singers singing Land of my Father's just before you shoot me. Mo says no problem.

Jock says I want 100 pipers playing Flower of Scotland just before you shoot me. Mo says no problem.

George says, for f@cks sake Mo, shoot me f@cking first.