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Thread: New Neighbours

  1. #1

    New Neighbours

    Time for a joke.

    I've got new neighbours across the road from me a couple of lesbian girls. Only been there a few weeks but have already made a sex video. They just don't know it yet.

  2. #2
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    Feb 2010
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    Can you give me their address?

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by 9goals2hattricks3pen View Post
    Time for a joke.

    I've got new neighbours across the road from me a couple of lesbian girls. Only been there a few weeks but have already made a sex video. They just don't know it yet.
    How very accommodating of them to have left their curtains open for you 😊 .

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by 9goals2hattricks3pen View Post
    Time for a joke.

    I've got new neighbours across the road from me a couple of lesbian girls. Only been there a few weeks but have already made a sex video. They just don't know it yet.
    Would hardly be lesbian blokes would they?...

  5. #5
    They also bought me a nice new Timex for my birthday. I think they misunderstood what I meant when they asked "What do you want for a present?" and I said "I wanna watch"

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by 9goals2hattricks3pen View Post
    They also bought me a nice new Timex for my birthday. I think they misunderstood what I meant when they asked "What do you want for a present?" and I said "I wanna watch"
    Back in my 20’s I was s h a g g I n g this girl in my bedroom and heard a noise from outside.

    My brother and a mate were up a ladder and had tweaked the curtains so they could watch!

    Better than contraception!

  7. #7
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    Jul 2008
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    A bloke goes into a pub with a crocodile.

    The barman tells him to take it out.

    “It’s special and it does an amazing trick” says the bloke.

    “Let’s see it then” says the barman.

    The bloke gets out his c o c k,puts it in the crocs mouth and then smashes the croc across the back of its head with a baseball bat.

    The croc doesn’t flinch.....the bloke retrieved his cock and looks pleased with himself.

    He asks the pub crowd.......”does anyone else fancy giving it a go?

    An old woman in the crowd shouts out.....”yeah...I’ll give it a go....as long as you promise not to hit me as hard with that baseball bat!!

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by goodlordmurphy View Post
    Would hardly be lesbian blokes would they?...
    Hey, nowadays you never know mate. Anythings possible!!

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by 9goals2hattricks3pen View Post
    Time for a joke.

    I've got new neighbours across the road from me a couple of lesbian girls. Only been there a few weeks but have already made a sex video. They just don't know it yet.
    Can you steal the toys? Perhaps someone could throw them at Jenkins as he’s another knob!!! Exploding batteries?

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by WOODLANDSWOLF View Post
    Hey, nowadays you never know mate. Anythings possible!!
    Well I must admit I like doing the things they do WOODLANDS....

  11. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by goodlordmurphy View Post
    Would hardly be lesbian blokes would they?...
    but they could have been lesbian women and in my febrile imagination they are definitely girls (think of barely legal age)

    Didn't need curtains open as room was fully miked and cameras set up at time of renovation.

  12. #12
    and talking of videos.

    I was watching tele last night when the wife come and tapped me on the shoulder and said "I'm really in the mood for it tonight. Come to bed now"

    I said "No it's OK I'm watching Match of the Day"

    She said "You can record it"

    I said "OK you go and set the camera up in the bedroom I'll be up after the football"

  13. #13
    With all this nice weather I thought it about time a got a new pair of Speedos for the beach. When I looked at shop prices I couldn't justify spending so much on a pair of trunks. So I had a look on line and saw a pair that were so much cheaper they had to be imitation but I thought they still looked good.
    They duly arrived a pair of shiny black trunks with SPEEDO in gold lettering on the left leg.
    First chance I got down to the beach and after a quick dip left the sea slowly walking up the beach trying to do my best Daniel Craig impression. I began to notice mothers grabbing their kids and dads shouting angrily at me. The further I went up the beach the more abuse I got.
    The wife saw me, rushed towards me with a towel and screamed "Quick cover up"
    I looked down to see what all the fuss was about and only then realised the S had fallen off.

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