Just found a fragment of script from an old music hall double act
STRAIGHTMAN (after suffering another pointless wind-up) - I don't wish to know that Wendun, kindly leave the stage.
WENDUN leaves stage muttering threats to STRAIGHTMAN, audience, stagehands, etc. Pauses offstage for a few seconds, then re-appears.
WENDUN (as UNWED, dressed exactly the same as before) - Hello, Mr Straightman. I'm looking for Wendun, my long-lost anagramatcial, but badly-spelled, twin brother. I've been working on a lightsip in the Irish Sea for the last few years and lost cotact with him. The man at the ticket office said that he was in here.
STRAIGHTMAN - You're too late, he's gone
WENDUN (as UNWED) - He might have just popped out to the toilet - I'll have a look in there.
Leaves stage, pauses offstage for a few seconds. Re-enters stage.
WENDUN - I say, I say, I say. Have you seen my twin brother Unwed? I thought that I heard his voice.
STRAIGHTMAN _ He's burgered off, so can you!
(Audience in fits of laughter)
WENDUN - he might have gone to the ticket office. I'll check there.
Goes offstage, pauses for a few seconds , reappears
WENDUN (as UNWED) - Hello again. I couldn't find Wendun. Anybody know where he might have gone?
AUDIENCE - Ticket office!
WENDUN (as UNWED) - Thanks. I'll try the ticket office then...
Leaves stage, pauses offstage for a few seconds, reappears
Goes on like this for a while, the
FINALE
WENDUN appears as Master of Ceremonies as before except with top hat, tailcoat and sporting a handlebar moustache
WENDUN (as M.o.C) To conclude tonight's macrocosm...
AUDIENCE - OOOOOH!
WENDUN (as M.o.C)... of municipal..
AUDIENCE -OOOOOH!
WENDUN (as M.o.C.)...magnificence!
AUDIENCE - OOOOOH! ( some women are fainting by now, some men are self-combusting!)
WENDUN (as M.o.C.) ... we have your very selves!
(Conducts audience rendition of "Down at the Old Bull and Bush"
Last edited by mikemiller; 19-05-2019 at 01:37 PM.
That's very good, Mike, if a little harsh. I would have thought you might realise that the imperfect anagram in Unwed2 strongly suggests it was not my work? Almost certainly a Kempism imo.
Mike, I also respectfully suggest you are unclear on what is a "multi". I have attempted to explain ad nauseum that I invented two characters - Rod Kemp and Dr Pokem - as a spoof wind up of my nemesis, Kempo. Wendun and Monty_Rhodes have never appeared on MM at the same time and cannot be considered "multis" but simply a change of username. Quite why you added Ridgeway Kid to your list is anyone's guess as he (she?) so far as I am aware inhabited only Millers Banter; I certainly don't recall such a user on MM. Having hounded poor Kempo from MM I would have hoped that you and Roly might have given up this constant lusting for blood. Try and let the better angels of your nature shine through. I know you can.