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Thread: At home with McCann's- part 5

  1. #1
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    At home with McCann's- part 5

    After Neil's departure from Dundee he and the lovely Carrie (Carrie McCann) had sold the Forfarshire house and moved to a nice cottage at Drymen.

    Carrie missed the Tangerine kitchen with the black worktops and Wagner the dog pined at times for the friendship of Mr Hartley the gardener. But she was happy in the new cottage and she poured a mug of tea at the breakfast table.

    Neil was nowhere to be seen so Carrie called upstairs "Neil, get yer lazy arse out of bed your coffees getting cold"

    Neil bounded downstairs and grabbed his coffee.
    "Big day today Carrie, got an interview at the SFA"

    Carrie peered at him over her copy of The Daily Record
    "Aye, what would that be then?"

    "Well Carrie, I think they want me as the new Scotland boss. They want someone who can bring continuity to the role after Alex McCleish and I told them I am that very man. I told them there was possibly no-one in Scotland better placed to continue the mediocrity and bad results"

    Carrie thought about this for a moment
    "Neil it says in the paper they've given it to Stevie Clarke"

    Neil looked astonished
    "No way Carrie, not a chance, he's always complaining about referees"

    Carrie showed him the picture of Stevie Clarke at Hampden being unveiled as the new Scotland manager

    "Ach I'll go anyway Carrie, they might give me the Killie job"

    Carrie sighed. "Aye sure Neil"

    Neil fired up his Mercedes, set the satnav for Hampden and put his favourite Abba CD on.......

  2. #2
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    The phone rang just as Neil was leaving,Carrie sighed and gushed its Gowser Neil,"Gaffer i've made all the papers again." Neil replied,"Have they put your tag on or are you calling me from Barlinnie son?."
    "No boss i have told the national press i want the Arabs to stay doon so we can get the derby's back!." Neil hesitated for a few second's and replied,"Have you seen our FN head to head with them over the last 50 years? what the phuck do you want the Derby's back for you thick chunt?."
    Gowser was getting angry,very angry,"You shut your puss you useless barsteward,you promised us top 4,europe and a cup win,McPoke has told the Texans that you were even worse than agent Mac and he has promised me a number 2 role if i keep my nose clean and my tag aff."
    Neil hung up and gave Carrie a kiss and headed for his meeting with the SFA,his mood lightened when he heard the Radio Scotland sports desk announce that the failed Scotland manager Gordon Strapon was being touted by the Texans as the FUNS new technical director.

  3. #3
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    Neil drove back from Hampden humming "Waterloo" all the way. He knew all the words to it now and had already decided to learn a new Abba song off by heart. Pulling up on the drive he noticed someone he vaguely recognised but was in a hurry to give Carrie the news.

    Carrie was reading a B&Q kitchen brochure.
    "Well my wee genius, how did it go?"

    "Great! They said I was a sure bet for the future Carrie"

    Carrie smiled a smile that only long suffering women can smile, and said "You think so? Because in the evening paper it says you were CENSURED as to your future behaviour!"

    "Possibly Carrie. Who was that I saw in the garden?"

    "I've taken Mr Hartley back on Neil, this gardens too big for me. Wagner seemed pleased"

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by stokearab View Post
    Neil drove back from Hampden humming "Waterloo" all the way. He knew all the words to it now and had already decided to learn a new Abba song off by heart. Pulling up on the drive he noticed someone he vaguely recognised but was in a hurry to give Carrie the news.

    Carrie was reading a B&Q kitchen brochure.
    "Well my wee genius, how did it go?"

    "Great! They said I was a sure bet for the future Carrie"

    Carrie smiled a smile that only long suffering women can smile, and said "You think so? Because in the evening paper it says you were CENSURED as to your future behaviour!"

    "Possibly Carrie. Who was that I saw in the garden?"

    "I've taken Mr Hartley back on Neil, this gardens too big for me. Wagner seemed pleased"
    On the eve of your biggest game in years and it's still all things Dundee FC.....

    Must admit is quite good though

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by petermackie View Post
    On the eve of your biggest game in years and it's still all things Dundee FC.....

    Must admit is quite good though
    Praise indeed Peter. To be honest, nervous and bored. Hes such an easy target. Too much time on my hands ahead of the game. I thought Part 4 was better.

  6. #6
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    By the way, is Peter Mackie like the Dees version of Paul Sturrock?
    I googled him and this is what it has on him

    Peter Mackie (born 17 January 1958 in Glasgow) is a Scottish former footballer, who played for Celtic, Dundee, St Mirren and Partick Thistle.

    Needs an edit surely, like number of Scottish Caps, trophies won, times he destroyed Barcelona and Moenchengladbach no?

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by stokearab View Post
    By the way, is Peter Mackie like the Dees version of Paul Sturrock?
    I googled him and this is what it has on him

    Peter Mackie (born 17 January 1958 in Glasgow) is a Scottish former footballer, who played for Celtic, Dundee, St Mirren and Partick Thistle.

    Needs an edit surely, like number of Scottish Caps, trophies won, times he destroyed Barcelona and Moenchengladbach no?
    Come on now Stoke not always about the glory...sure you'll have your favs over the years that weren't always the best

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by petermackie View Post
    Come on now Stoke not always about the glory...sure you'll have your favs over the years that weren't always the best
    Ahh, you ARE Peter Mackie. Fair play.
    Developing news on Neil, more later

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    Carrie was up early but as she entered the kitchen she saw Neil asleep at his laptop.

    "Neil!" she yelled "what are you doing up so early?"

    Neil woke with a start, rubbed his eyes and said "I've been up all night Carrie, I applied for the Killie job and they've sent me an application form"

    "So?"

    "Well it's a bit of a nightmare to be honest Carrie. I filled in the section marked weaknesses no problem. It took ages mind you, but I'm struggling with the section marked "Successes"

    Carrie looked thoughtful and replied "Just lie Neil, that's what everyone does with a CV"

    "I am Carrie, believe me, I am. How does this sound?
    Set the foundations in place at Dundee FC to take them where they are today. 62% win ratio on FIFA 2018, and have changed many a game with my genius analysis in the TV studios. By the way I'm better than Paul Hartley so bear that in mind should he apply. If he doesn't apply please ignore that wee bit, not the rest obviously"

    Carrie looked at the ceiling and bit her lip.
    "Perfect Neil, that should fix it"

    Carrie showed Neil a page she'd bookmarked in the B&Q ki tchen brochure. "That's the one I'm wanting"

    Neil glanced at the page and said "It's Tangerine Carrie!"

    "No it's not, the brochure says it's Sunset Orange"

    "OK then" Neil said and headed to the post office with his Killie application form.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by petermackie View Post
    On the eve of your biggest game in years and it's still all things Dundee FC.....

    Must admit is quite good though


    "The most nervous I've been watching a game all season"


    A quote from a funster about United v St Mirren last night

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