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Thread: O/T School Lessons

  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Albionic68 View Post
    You've clearly met the absolute w@nker and triple boring condescending tw@t that is my brother in law Des', poor you .
    Like the wine making son in law in Reggie Perrin 68 lol 😆

    I find that people who “tinker” with cars are also ultra boring t w a t s.

    There’s a special place in hell for blokes who love DIY and make the rest of us look bad in front of our wives.

    These idiots should do us all a favour and use their skills to build themselves a coffin!

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by WBA1955 View Post
    Have you ever noticed how people who like maths are the most boring barstewards you could ever hope to meet? Usually weedy little specimens with buck teeth and absolutely no sense of humour.
    They spend their time trying to guess how many stars there are in the Universe or how many gallons of water the Atalntic holds.
    Mad as march hares anyway most of them.

    Maths is is the most pointless thing to learn anyway.

    If you want to do a Maths problem then ask yourself why the world is four and a half billion years old and why nothing ever gave a feck about numbers until humans appeared two million years ago.

    We watched an open university programme once and this professor was trying to find out what X was, he spent 30 mins tring different formulas and using different techniques and came to the conclusion that X equalled zero, nothing, zilch. That was 30 mins of my life i will never get back.

    Don't like Maths, Moths are much more interesting.
    HI, i've been called many things but never a liitle weed. I suppose i enjoyed maths because it came so easy to me.

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Albionic68 View Post
    You've clearly met the absolute w@nker and triple boring condescending tw@t that is my brother in law Des', poor you .

    The most boring bloke i ever saw Danny used to go in the Brook Inn, Woodsetton in the 1970's. He would stand at the bar and all he talked about was lorries. No matter how you tried to change the subject it would come back to lorries.
    He spoke in a boring monosyllable voice that never changed tempo either. God he was boring.

    Another was a bloke i worked with who was getting on a bit who was a train enthusiast. He would spend his weekends cutting the grass down the SVR.
    All he talked about was steam locos, the height of each class, the length weight and power. His idea of a good night was inviting people to his house for tea and cakes and showing them slides of steam locos he had taken for three hours.
    He asked me and the wife around once but fortunately we had appointments at the dentist.

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by mickd1961 View Post
    Like the wine making son in law in Reggie Perrin 68 lol 😆

    I find that people who “tinker” with cars are also ultra boring t w a t s.

    There’s a special place in hell for blokes who love DIY and make the rest of us look bad in front of our wives.

    These idiots should do us all a favour and use their skills to build themselves a coffin!


    What about all those cyclists who double up on the roads wearing those stupid shorts! I angle my window screen wipers so when overtaking them - they get a nice clean!

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by mickd1961 View Post
    ......I find that people who “tinker” with cars are also ultra boring t w a t s. There’s a special place in hell for blokes who love DIY..........
    You've just described my other brother in law Mick and strangely enough he's got more than a passing interest in Pythagoras too. Don't get me wrong I'm not bad at maths but he'd jizz on the spot if he got an abacus for Christmas, especially if it was broken so he could fix the fkr.

    The bloke's a frustrated Bob the Builder. On the rare occasions he lets tradesmen work on his house he spends his time telling them how they could do things better. Surprised he's still got his own teeth to be honest. I'm all for people having hobbies and interests but not everyone wants to listen when they ramble incessantly about them.

    One brother in law could talk a glass eye to sleep and the other would explain in great detail how the glass eye could improve it's sleeping patterns. What a fkn family. Long story but I no longer attend family functions........ it's best for all concerned.

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Albionic68 View Post
    You've just described my other brother in law Mick and strangely enough he's got more than a passing interest in Pythagoras too. Don't get me wrong I'm not bad at maths but he'd jizz on the spot if he got an abacus for Christmas, especially if it was broken so he could fix the fkr.

    The bloke's a frustrated Bob the Builder. On the rare occasions he lets tradesmen work on his house he spends his time telling them how they could do things better. Surprised he's still got his own teeth to be honest. I'm all for people having hobbies and interests but not everyone wants to listen when they ramble incessantly about them.

    One brother in law could talk a glass eye to sleep and the other would explain in great detail how the glass eye could improve it's sleeping patterns. What a fkn family. Long story but I no longer attend family functions........ it's best for all concerned.
    My one son in law always thought golfers were boring b a s t a r d s and he then took it up himself and became one.

    My other son in law is a c u n t.

    He left my daughter with a one year old!

    Pity he didn’t take up golf instead of the subject that got him into trouble!!

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by WBA1955 View Post
    ......most boring bloke i ever saw.... spoke in a boring monosyllable voice that never changed tempo either. God he was boring.....
    You're on a roll today Des', sounds like you've met my old biology teacher from college too you lucky thing. Nice enough chap but his voice droned on in a deep base monotone that would have woken the dead just long enough for them to be grateful they were in fact already dead. It still reverberates inside my head and the last time I heard it was over thirty years ago. Christ his lessons seemed to last forever .
    Last edited by Albionic68; 14-07-2019 at 04:51 PM.

  8. #18
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    Why did geography teachers always have leather patches on their jacket elbows?

    Des will know?

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by mickd1961 View Post
    Why did geography teachers always have leather patches on their jacket elbows?

    Des will know?

    I often wondered that Mick, maybe they thought it made them look different?

    Anyway i once won 10/- from my classmates, which was a lot of money when i was 14, by betting them i could get the Geography teacher to eat dog food.
    The Geography teacher, if he saw you eating in class would confiscate your bags of sweets and then eat them in front of everyone while they were working.
    So in the lunchbreak i went to the P.O. and bought a quarter of chocolate buttons. I took them home and put them in another bag, then put some of the Dogs buttons into the original bag. In his class i started eating the chocolate buttons, and when he snapped his fingers and called me to bring them out i took the dog buttons.
    His face when he was trying to chew them was a picture.

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by mickd1961 View Post
    Like the wine making son in law in Reggie Perrin 68 lol 😆

    I find that people who “tinker” with cars are also ultra boring t w a t s.

    There’s a special place in hell for blokes who love DIY and make the rest of us look bad in front of our wives.

    These idiots should do us all a favour and use their skills to build themselves a coffin!
    ”There’s a special place in hell for blokes who love DIY and make the rest of us look bad in front of our wives.”

    Hear, hear - the best I’ve read for some time 😂.

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