A Lesson Learned.

[mickd1961]

I’ve been very open on here for a long period of time now,often about very personal things such as the struggles with my son.

I’ve often found it useful to discuss stuff with forum members who are in the main,just a respected username or people I’ve met up with at meets such as Des and Chris who I respect.

Today however this openness came back and bit my a r s e.

A fellow Albion fan who I know and who I like on a personal level ( but unknown to me is a reader of this forum and maybe a contributor) has informed my son in law about something I’ve posted about my son.

This has caused hassle and me in particular some angst.

It’s my own fault for being so open but I’m sure this person will read this and will know it’s them I’m talking about and I just hope they don’t do the same thing again in future.

I won’t make the same error again,I shall be much more guarded in the future which seems sad.

What I may do is switch to a new username but if I do I will PM all the people I know and trust like Des,Chris,Prando,Albionic68 and a good few others of you so that you know the new user is me......if I do this I’d be grateful if you no longer refer to me as Mick in your replies.

On a final note regarding my son.....I have said some harsh things about him and all are deserved,he has lead me and the missus a terrible dance over the last 14 years.

There have been times when I’ve been at the limit of my patience and much to my surprise it’s been ME and me alone who has fought to keep him within our four walls and within our family unit.......I am not noted for my patience so his worst has possibly brought out the best in me on a human level.

His mum is the most caring and wonderful mother anyone can wish for but at times she’s been ready to let him free to end up wherever.

I’ve found myself challenging my own long held beliefs of how I would deal with the sorts of situations I’ve been put in by my lad and although it may seem like a strange thing to say I’m glad I’ve discovered a more empathetic and forgiving me even so late in life.

I have been challenged in different ways by all three of my kids......none have ever or will ever be treated any differently and the same for my grandchildren.......I would fight for all of them in the same way.

I would say to the person this is intended for that we have a lot in common.

Three children are a challenge......all are different but when they are young you have virtually all the control.

20 years from now will be the time for you to take stock and to be able to put yourself in my shoes.

****age nights out,your kids thinking they are grown up......some b a s t a r d offering them drugs.......if you’re lucky all three will be strong enough to say no but sadly the chances are that at least one will be tempted.

Bad boyfriends/girlfriends,battered emotions,mental health issues,social media issues all come into play......the next 5-10 years this will come into play for you and only in 20 years will you have a good idea of how it’s all panned out.

I wish you well with it,I really do.

There might come a point when you feel fit to burst though just like I have and the use of an anonymous ( supposedly! ) forum might help you without coming back to haunt you.

I’m sure it wasn’t meant maliciously but after this message I can assure you that mickd1961 will not open himself up again and leave himself feeling so vulnerable.

Best of luck to you,

Mick.

[Albionic68]

Hello Mick. I hope all’s well with you and yours otherwise. Really sorry to read of your troubles and I hope everything works out. Coming on here and letting off steam can be therapeutic and whatever you post is clearly down to you. Don’t change your user name as there’s very little point. You know yourself how easy it is to pick up on writing styles etc and it’ll be no different for regular readers.

As a rule of thumb I try not to share anything I or those around me are not comfortable becoming public knowledge. Getting pulled up in real life for what’s posted online isn’t worth the hassle even if it makes you feel better at the time. It’s your call though chap. As for the reader who passed things on I initially thought what a snide? On the other hand it’s a public forum and anybody could have stumbled across it at any time so I'll take that back.

Like everyone who posts on here and those who read from afar I’ve had ‘life issues’. Some of which I’ve shared and much of which I haven’t. I’m quietly confident I’ve posted things identifying me to non-posters but that’s my cop out. A couple of days ago the forum did me a huge favour and chucked me off site when about to over share.

This regarded certain behaviours, naive decisions and wrong turns which cost me and will continue to cost me until I can fully affect change. Thankfully after some hard times I’ve turned a corner but acknowledge I’ve got a long way to go. I was tempted to re post but thought – ‘why? I feel O.K about things having typed them out and I’m fine’.

On a general point regarding the forum I’m a neutral poster and try to remain respectful but my patience does wear thin. Every now and then I read things on preview and resist the urge to post. I’m far more forthcoming and less reserved in person but the preview button has saved me from many an online spat, which frankly I don’t have the time or patience for. As for indulging trolls they can get their online w@nks off others.

Anyway, keep posting fella and I look forward to more of your humour .

[boingy]

I'm sorry to hear that Mick. Its important for you to have an outlet but no you can't afford it to make things worse for you because of some thoughtless slip of the tongue. I applaud your sticking with a severely stressful situation and I hope things improve in some way for all concerned.

[TipperaryBaggie]

I really admire your openness and honesty shown in your recent posts. Unfortunately, we live in a different world now to the one that we grew up in Mick. We never held back in giving our opinions but there are so many eyes and ears around us now due to social media that we have to be so careful.
Along with others on this forum, I really hope that you keep posting as I thoroughly enjoy the banter that many of your posts generate. Keep your chin up mate.

[baggieal]

I’ve been very open on here for a long period of time now,often about very personal things such as the struggles with my son.

I’ve often found it useful to discuss stuff with forum members who are in the main,just a respected username or people I’ve met up with at meets such as Des and Chris who I respect.

Today however this openness came back and bit my a r s e.

A fellow Albion fan who I know and who I like on a personal level ( but unknown to me is a reader of this forum and maybe a contributor) has informed my son in law about something I’ve posted about my son.

This has caused hassle and me in particular some angst.

It’s my own fault for being so open but I’m sure this person will read this and will know it’s them I’m talking about and I just hope they don’t do the same thing again in future.

I won’t make the same error again,I shall be much more guarded in the future which seems sad.

What I may do is switch to a new username but if I do I will PM all the people I know and trust like Des,Chris,Prando,Albionic68 and a good few others of you so that you know the new user is me......if I do this I’d be grateful if you no longer refer to me as Mick in your replies.

On a final note regarding my son.....I have said some harsh things about him and all are deserved,he has lead me and the missus a terrible dance over the last 14 years.

There have been times when I’ve been at the limit of my patience and much to my surprise it’s been ME and me alone who has fought to keep him within our four walls and within our family unit.......I am not noted for my patience so his worst has possibly brought out the best in me on a human level.

His mum is the most caring and wonderful mother anyone can wish for but at times she’s been ready to let him free to end up wherever.

I’ve found myself challenging my own long held beliefs of how I would deal with the sorts of situations I’ve been put in by my lad and although it may seem like a strange thing to say I’m glad I’ve discovered a more empathetic and forgiving me even so late in life.

I have been challenged in different ways by all three of my kids......none have ever or will ever be treated any differently and the same for my grandchildren.......I would fight for all of them in the same way.

I would say to the person this is intended for that we have a lot in common.

Three children are a challenge......all are different but when they are young you have virtually all the control.

20 years from now will be the time for you to take stock and to be able to put yourself in my shoes.

****age nights out,your kids thinking they are grown up......some b a s t a r d offering them drugs.......if you’re lucky all three will be strong enough to say no but sadly the chances are that at least one will be tempted.

Bad boyfriends/girlfriends,battered emotions,mental health issues,social media issues all come into play......the next 5-10 years this will come into play for you and only in 20 years will you have a good idea of how it’s all panned out.

I wish you well with it,I really do.

There might come a point when you feel fit to burst though just like I have and the use of an anonymous ( supposedly! ) forum might help you without coming back to haunt you.

I’m sure it wasn’t meant maliciously but after this message I can assure you that mickd1961 will not open himself up again and leave himself feeling so vulnerable.

Best of luck to you,

Mick.

Incredible! Never met you Mick but was hoping to on Saturday! I would confront this person as not nice, especially as you were open, and communicating what's what in a positive way. I like your posts as feel we have the same style, and like the fact you used to live in Yorkshire, and run a business, as do I.

Keep posting but perhaps, be more guarded of what you say and keep this to friends upon meet ups, and then its heresay.

Best wishes

[The Minn Junta]

PM sent.

[mickd1961]

Incredible! Never met you Mick but was hoping to on Saturday! I would confront this person as not nice, especially as you were open, and communicating what's what in a positive way. I like your posts as feel we have the same style, and like the fact you used to live in Yorkshire, and run a business, as do I.

Keep posting but perhaps, be more guarded of what you say and keep this to friends upon meet ups, and then its heresay.

Best wishes

I don’t for one minute think anything was done maliciously as I said before Al.

I just had no idea that I was “known” through this forum and that left me somewhat open because it’s human nature for people to gossip once they do see or hear something.

It’s my own fault and it has been an experience I’ll now avoid.

[mickd1961]

PM sent.

Thanks Minn,I have now replied.

[baggieal]

I don’t for one minute think anything was done maliciously as I said before Al.

I just had no idea that I was “known” through this forum and that left me somewhat open because it’s human nature for people to gossip once they do see or hear something.

It’s my own fault and it has been an experience I’ll now avoid.

Be good to meet you sometime Mick as there are similarities my end too. Best wishes and keep posting.

[Prando]

Take care buddy.
You have my email (?)