O/T Late Friday neet joke thread...

[Brin]

Apologies for this late addition but, is this a joke or a way out of all the political mess with the B word?




It is a slow day in the little Greek village, the rain is beating down and the streets are deserted.
Times are tough, everybody is in debt and everybody lives on credit.
On this particular day a rich German tourist is driving through the village, he stops at the local hotel and lays Euro 100 on the desk.
He tells the owner he wants to inspect the rooms with a view to staying the night.
The hotelier gives the tourist some keys and as soon as he's gone upstairs, the hotelier grabs the Euro 100 and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.
The butcher takes the Euro 100 and runs down the street to pay his debt to the pig farmer.
The pig farmer takes the Euro 100 and heads off to pay his debt to the supplier of feed and fuel.
The man at the Farmer's Co-op takes the Euro 100 and runs to pays his drinks bill at the taverna.
The publican takes the Euro 100, walks down the bar to the local prostitute and clears his debt for services rendered.
The prostitute then rushes around to the local hotel with the Euro 100 and pays off her room bill.
The hotelier then puts the Euro 100 note back on the desk so the German tourist will not suspect anything.
At that moment the German tourist walks back into the room and says the rooms are not satisfactory so he won't be staying, he picks up the Euro 100 and leaves.

So,

No-one produced anything.
No-one earned anything.
However, the whole village is now out of debt and looking to the future with a lot more optimism.
And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is how that E.U. bailout works.

[CAMiller]

So all hoteliers are going to lose out to the tune of 100 euros and the bailout is complete?

[Ronners]

Apologies for this late addition but, is this a joke or a way out of all the political mess with the B word?




It is a slow day in the little Greek village, the rain is beating down and the streets are deserted.
Times are tough, everybody is in debt and everybody lives on credit.
On this particular day a rich German tourist is driving through the village, he stops at the local hotel and lays Euro 100 on the desk.
He tells the owner he wants to inspect the rooms with a view to staying the night.
The hotelier gives the tourist some keys and as soon as he's gone upstairs, the hotelier grabs the Euro 100 and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.
The butcher takes the Euro 100 and runs down the street to pay his debt to the pig farmer.
The pig farmer takes the Euro 100 and heads off to pay his debt to the supplier of feed and fuel.
The man at the Farmer's Co-op takes the Euro 100 and runs to pays his drinks bill at the taverna.
The publican takes the Euro 100, walks down the bar to the local prostitute and clears his debt for services rendered.
The prostitute then rushes around to the local hotel with the Euro 100 and pays off her room bill.
The hotelier then puts the Euro 100 note back on the desk so the German tourist will not suspect anything.
At that moment the German tourist walks back into the room and says the rooms are not satisfactory so he won't be staying, he picks up the Euro 100 and leaves.

So,

No-one produced anything.
No-one earned anything.
However, the whole village is now out of debt and looking to the future with a lot more optimism.
And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is how that E.U. bailout works.

Tut tut Brin, I feel that once raging, Kerr and Wanchai read that, this joke thread will get hijacked

[Ronners]

So to add to it a little.......

Commenting on Man Utds worst start to a season for 100 years, a joint statement from Ed Woodward and Ole Gunnar solskjaer put the blame squarely on Boris Johnson.

[Ronners]

It’s a 4 minute walk from my house to the bar. It’s a 45 minute walk from the bar to my house. The difference is staggering.

[Ronners]

My girlfriend was putting sun cream on. "Do you mind doing my back?" she asked. "Let's pretend I'm your butler" I winked. "My name's Dawes." "Ok!" she giggled, "Would you mind doing my back, Dawes?" And that was all the invitation I needed.

[Brin]

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, wine and dine her, buy gifts for her, listen to her, respect her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her.


HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN Arrive naked... with beer. I think this is ***ist to men....

[Brin]

Hardest job in the world: police sketch artist in China.

[Brin]

Little Johnny asks, "Mommy, where do babies come from?" His mother replies, "The stork brings them."

Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, "Then who f.ucks the stork?"

[LincsMiller]

Hardest job in the world: police sketch artist in China.

Very non pc Brin, but very funny ��