Reply With Quote😂 i've never lost a fight over 100meters Bill. 😂Originally Posted by ex_pat_magpie
She's a big lass and swings a mean left hook.
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Thought this could've evolved into a silly joke thread without all the b1tching. Silly me.
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😂 i've never lost a fight over 100meters Bill. 😂She's a big lass and swings a mean left hook.
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I run like the wind as long as the wind is not that fast.
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More chance of the club being sold than that happening mate. I think we should all chip in and buy him some new crayons and colouring books. Occupy his tiny mind.
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Aye. Was worth a try anyway..
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Here's a well worn old favourite.
The hardy Geordie !
Cold is relative ( bear with it until the end ! )
50 Degrees - New Yorkers turn on the heating - people in Newcastle plant
gardens !
40 Degrees - Californians shiver uncontrollably - people in Newcastle
sunbathe !
35 Degrees - Italian cars will not start - people in Newcastle drive with
the windows
down ( those who have cars ) !
20 Degrees - Floridians wear coats, gloves and wool hats - people in
Newcastle throw on a T- Shirt ( girls throw on a wet one ) !
15 Degrees - Californians begin to evacuate - people in Newcastle go
swimming (some without their underpants ) !
Zero Degrees - New York landlords turn up the heat - people in Newcastle
have the last BBQ before it gets cold !
Minus 10 degrees - people in Miami cease to exist - people in Newcastle
throw on a lightweight jacket !
Minus 80 Degrees - Polar bears wonder if it's worth it - Boy Scouts in
Newcastle postpone winter survival courses until it gets colder !
Minus 100 Degrees - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole - people in
Newcastle pull down their earmuffs and pull on their long johns !
Minus 173 Degrees - Ethyl alcohol freezes - people in Newcastle get
frustrated because they cannot thaw their kegs!
Minus 297 Degrees - Microbial life starts to disappear - Newcastle cows
complain of farmers with cold hands !
Minus 500 Degrees - Hell freezes over - Newcastle United win a trophy!!!!!
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😂😂😂😂
Trialist
😂
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A German, an Italian, a Frenchman, and an Englishmen are debating philosophy.
The question arises over the course of their debates: What separates man from the animals?
"Technology," says the German. "Other creatures have tools, yet none can match the heights of engineering we have accomplished. It is our industry that separates us from the beasts."
"I disagree," announces the Italian. "It is our food. The creatures of the wild eat, but they do not cook. Humans on the other hand, create amazing dishes and new combination that make eating a most enjoyable experience."
"I say it's art," decides the Frenchman. "No other being can create art. From our earliest days we have painted, and now we sculpt, write and compose as well. The wild animals cannot ever know what it is like to cry over a beautiful piece of art."
All three now look towards the Englishman, expecting his answer. He takes a long sip of tea before answering.
"The Channel."
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Here's another oldie but goody.
The tazer Mick use the tazer. For fuc*s sake use the 'kin tazer Mick !!!
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