O/T David Beckham joke.

[ex_pat_magpie]

Alex Ferguson was on Who wants to be a millionaire and got to the final round only using two of his lives.

Chris Tarrent says "Right Alex, for one million pounds, what lives in sets, foxes, badgers or cuckoos".

Fergie strokes his chin and says "well I can illiminate foxes because they live in lairs but I'm not quite sure about the other two and don't want to guess so can I phone a friend".

Tarrent replies "Of course, who do you want"

Fergie nominates David Beckham and they ring him up.

Fergie explains it's a choice of two and says to Beckham " David, what lives in sets badgers or cuckoos"

Beckham thinks for a few seconds and then says "Alex the answer is badgers"

"Are you sure " says Fergie "Positive" replys Beckham, so Fergie comes away with One Million quid.

When the party at the studio is over he rings Beckham to thank him and says "Thanks David but how were you so sure the answer was badgers.

Beckham answers "well boss I really didn't know the answer but it was a process of illimination because I knew cuckoos lived in clocks"

[waalsendmick]

Dear me!!!!

[ex_pat_magpie]

Dear me!!!!

That's what you say when you're upset with Pbro's posts Mick. It wasn't as bad as that was it.

[Jammy89]

That was terrible Pat. . . still made me chuckle though

[ex_pat_magpie]

That was terrible Pat. . . still made me chuckle though

But isn't that Beckham's standard.

[Milburn9]

Physical

Bill was a bit embarrassed and told the doctor he had trouble getting an erection with his wife and she was getting frustrated.

The doctor checked Bill's blood pressure and other *****s. Then after a thorough examination the doctor said he wanted to check with Bill's wife.

He took her to another cubicle and asked her to disrobe. Then he told her to turn all the way around slowly.

She did as instructed. He then told her to raise her arms above her head, then bend over, touch her toes and cough.

Finally he said; "Ok, good. You can get dressed now and I’ll go talk to your husband."

The doctor went back to the other cubicle and said to the husband; "Well Bill, you can relax, there is nothing wrong with you. I couldn't get an erection either.”

[bobbyv9]

Alex Ferguson was on Who wants to be a millionaire and got to the final round only using two of his lives.

Chris Tarrent says "Right Alex, for one million pounds, what lives in sets, foxes, badgers or cuckoos".

Fergie strokes his chin and says "well I can illiminate foxes because they live in lairs but I'm not quite sure about the other two and don't want to guess so can I phone a friend".

Tarrent replies "Of course, who do you want"

Fergie nominates David Beckham and they ring him up.

Fergie explains it's a choice of two and says to Beckham " David, what lives in sets badgers or cuckoos"

Beckham thinks for a few seconds and then says "Alex the answer is badgers"

"Are you sure " says Fergie "Positive" replys Beckham, so Fergie comes away with One Million quid.

When the party at the studio is over he rings Beckham to thank him and says "Thanks David but how were you so sure the answer was badgers.

Beckham answers "well boss I really didn't know the answer but it was a process of illimination because I knew cuckoos lived in clocks"

😂

[ex_pat_magpie]

Physical

Bill was a bit embarrassed and told the doctor he had trouble getting an erection with his wife and she was getting frustrated.

The doctor checked Bill's blood pressure and other *****s. Then after a thorough examination the doctor said he wanted to check with Bill's wife.

He took her to another cubicle and asked her to disrobe. Then he told her to turn all the way around slowly.

She did as instructed. He then told her to raise her arms above her head, then bend over, touch her toes and cough.

Finally he said; "Ok, good. You can get dressed now and I’ll go talk to your husband."

The doctor went back to the other cubicle and said to the husband; "Well Bill, you can relax, there is nothing wrong with you. I couldn't get an erection either.”

Can I tell that one to my partner (on Valentine's night)

[ex_pat_magpie]

Little old Scottish spinster goes into the village grocers on an icey, very cold January morning and can't see him in the shop.

She waits a wee while then looks in the back store room where he is standing back to the open stove clasping his hands behind his back.

She calls out to attract his attention and says "Is that your Ayrshire bacon?"

To which he replies "No, I'm just warreming me hands"

[Milburn9]

Can I tell that one to my partner (on Valentine's night)

😂Better not mate.