After another appalling display from Newcastle's £40 million non-scoring Brazilian striker Joelinton at Arsenal (30 hours without a goal now), Steve Bruce said he had to keep reminding him to get into the box more. Far be it from me to tell a football man as experienced as Steve Bruce how to do his job, but I'm going to anyway.

Stevey baby, if you keep having to tell your striker he needs to get into the box more, you need a new striker mate. FFS it ain't rocket science, wake up man, I'm just pointing out the bleedin obvious.