At first I was afraid, I was petrified,
There was no loo roll down at Aldi and I nearly cried.
Oh, how I spent so many nights just thinking how you did me wrong,
I used to wipe,
And now Iím forced to just drip dry!

No anti-bac!
No bloody soap!
And if you think youíre buying pasta, well, youíve got no hope!
I would have bought that box of eggs, I would have rationed out my bread,
If Iíd have known for just one second everyone would lose their head!

Go on now go, walk out the door!
You bloody stockpilers,
You are not welcome any more!
Werenít you ones who just bought all the sodding beans?
You selfish gits!
I hope you spill them down your jeans!

Oh no not I, I wonít panic buy!
Oh as long as I have alcohol, I know Iíll stay alive,
Though I canít buy my usual cheese
This will not bring me to my knees
And Iíll survive, I will survive, hey, hey!

It took all the strength I had not to not to fall apart,
There was just apples and a carrot in my shopping cart,
And I spent hours walking round just feeling sorry for myself,
The empty store, with boxes strewn across the floor!
And youíll see me, somebody who,
Cannot buy anything she came for, and itís down to you
And frickiní Reg from down the road is such a selfish blimminí git!
Because he stockpiled all the loo roll no one else can have a s@*t!

(x2)
Go on now go, walk out the door!
You bloody stockpilers,
You are not welcome any more!
Werenít you ones who just bought all the sodding cakes?
Canít you make a crumble,
Do you people not know how to bake?

Oh no not I, I wonít panic buy!
Oh as long as I have alcohol, I know Iíll stay alive,
Though I canít buy my usual cheese
This will not bring me to my knees
And Iíll survive, I will survive!